Page 152 of Cautious Love

Or maybe she’s afraid to tell me what else is going on. If I can do anything to help her with it, I will.

And I miss her.

When she was living with me and we were together, the moment I got home I’d get home and my shoulders dropped from my ears. It was a relief to see her, a gift to feel her lips on mine.

She centers everything in me, makes me feel like I’m not letting everyone I love and the whole county of Paxton down. Ithink a small part of me has always been afraid to commit to a woman because I’ve committed so much of myself in so many other ways. I didn’t think there was much more to give, and it’s not right to only give pieces of yourself to someone when they are giving everything. But falling for Shiloh after I married her changed everything.

I couldn’t wait to commit myself to her for real, and even now, she wants to be friends, but I’m still committed.

I always will be.

This time I got takeout from the burger joint in town, aptly named Burger Burger Burger. Hopefully, she likes it.

I look around the lot and surrounding area again before I get out. I don’t have my badge on me and I drove my truck to her place. It’s dark and my hat is on, shielding my face, but hopefully no one is watching either of us.

I hit the bell button and instead of a hello, I get, “Seriously, Ledger?” she groans.

It goes silent before I can respond, and a minute later she’s standing on the other side of the door, staring at me.

“I brought dinner,” I tell her.

She sighs and opens the locked door, takes Dozer’s leash out of my hand, and starts up the stairs.

Closing and locking her door behind me, I set the bag on the counter, and nothing has changed. She still hasn’t bought a couch, and I have to admit that gives me a bit of hope.

“What are you doing here? This is the third time in less than two weeks.”

I shrug and take my shoes off. “I wanted to hang out with my friend.”

She purses her lips and goes to the window, pulling back the blinds.

“Are you okay?”

“Why do you keep asking me that?” she snaps.

“Maybe because you keep responding like that, which is indicative of something being wrong.”

She rolls her pretty eyes and pets Dozer. “What did you get this time?”

“Burger Burger Burger has good fried chicken.”

She huffs. “They really do.”

Before she can open the containers, I snatch the bag back.

“Hey!”

“Tell me what’s going on,” I say a little rougher than I intended.

Her cheeks turn pink and she won’t look me in the eye.

“I said it before, I’ll say it again, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Shiloh, I’m not an idiot. I can see it with my own eyes. Tell me what’s going on … please,” I rasp.

Then, to my horror and confusion, she bursts into tears.

“I can’t tell you. Please, please don’t make me do this.”