Page 146 of Cautious Love

Shiloh flips the lid open and takes a large bite of the cake, humming. Her eyes roll back in her head, and my chest warms. I love seeing her happy. It’s always the simplest experiences, or observations about someone, that come together to make loving someone even easier. Funny how that works. It’s the small things that make me love her, and it’s the tough ones that sayforever.

We chat a little longer then she checks her phone. “I need to get to bed. Early shift tomorrow, and then I have one at the Wooden Cowboy.”

I nod and gather my wallet, keys, and the dog.

“Thanks for grabbing dinner. I was going to have a can of soup.”

“No problem,” I mutter.

She follows me to the door, and I turn, kissing her on the lips, then realize my mistake. “I’m sorry,” I mumble.

Her cheeks are rosy, and she shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, we … it was easy to…” I trail off, not sure what to say, but there’s also a part of me that doesn’t regret it at all. The accidental kiss, the muscle memory of it all will keep me sustained a little longer.

“It’s alright,” she whispers.

“Okay, have a good day tomorrow. Don’t forget to please be careful.” I pause, trying to think through my words. “Would you mind texting me when you get to your shift at the diner and bar? Then let me know when you get home? I’d rather escort you, but I know you won’t let me, and I want to make sure you’re okay.”

She sighs. “Ledger, friends don’t keep tabs on each other like that.”

“Husbandsdo,” I mutter.

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. I’ll text you.”

“Thank you. Goodnight.”

“Night,” she whispers and closes the door behind me.

This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

Chapter 36

Shiloh

I’vebeenthroughsomehard things in my life; getting myself to the clinic after Grey beat me was hard. I thought growing up without a mom was hard. But I never could have predicted living without my temporary husband would be this hard. I hate my apartment.

I didn’t go shopping for a couch, or any furniture. I have a mattress on the floor, and I’m living out of my duffel bag. I feel like I need to be able to leave at a moment’s notice because Kensington sent someone to intimidate me. I didn’t recognize him, but his message was clear.

Rat and I die.

Maybe it was Grey who sent him, or maybe it was Senior himself. But a little part of me says the only reason I’m still breathing is because my husband is the sheriff, and that would be far too obvious. I’m a thorn in their side, but I don’t want to give them any excuse, married or not, to cut me.

Aside from that, I don’t want to be here. I want to be with him, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep the secrets.

I miss him from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. This space feels empty, and I do too.

But every time I think about giving in, I force myself to remember why I did all of this in the first place.

To protect him.

The only problem is, I don’t know if it worked, and it’s not like I’m going to go onto the Kensington property to let them know I’m not a rat and to leave Ledger alone. Bad idea.

But then again, maybe being alone is a bad idea too. Ledger wasn’t wrong for being concerned about what Grey could do. I’m basically a sitting duck. It’s not like there’s high-level security in this building. I sleep with the gun right next to me. It’s the best I could think of, but it will all be worth it if I can hold out long enough for Ledger to get Grey and put him where he belongs.

“Hello? Earth to Shiloh?” Mollie-Mae calls.

“What?” I ask her, finally looking away from the window.