Page 142 of Cautious Love

Dozer barks when I come in, and I let him in the backyard to pee. Waiting for his little legs to carry him back into the house, I close the door and go to her room, and it’s … empty.

It’s exactly how it was before she got here, and it looks barren. Her spirit isn’t there to fill the space. I turn out the light, and a glint catches my eye.

“Dammit, Shy.”

I pick her ring up from the table and pull my phone from my pocket to text her.

Ledger: Tell me you’re okay.

Collapsing on the sofa, I stare at my phone, hoping she answers.

Criminal: I am.

The simple words break something in me, but I can’t do anything but accept it. She’s her own woman, and far be it from me to keep her from what she wants. Dozer jumps on my leg asking for my attention, and I stoop down to pick him up. He’s much bigger than when Shiloh first found him. He still has weight to gain, but he looks healthier now.

“Well, boy, it’s just you and me now. I hope your mama is settling in okay.”

He licks my face, and I set him down to fill his bowls.

I maintain my routine, as always, and sit down at the dinner table and pour out a box for a puzzle I’ve done three times before. But it’s my norm. It’s what I always do —without her.

Picking up a piece, I set it to the side to organize the pieces while I eat. But after a few pieces, it all feels hollow. My table feels too empty, and the house doesn’t feel like a home anymore. It’s a box with a roof.

After I finish dinner, it’s too early to go to bed, and I have nothing else to do, no one to pick up after. So I call my brother, Fletcher, and try to ignore the pain in my chest.

“Hey man, what’s up?” he asks.

“Hey Fletch, you’re not busy, are you?” I ask him first.

He chuckles. “Tatum wants me to rub her feet, so you’re saving me from that. What’s going on?”

“I wanted to check in and make sure everything is safe over there.”

“Give me a second,” Fletch says, and a moment later I hear a door close.

“I told Dad and the boys, but I didn’t tell Mama, Tatum, Mae, or June. I figured we don’t need to worry them if there was nothing to be concerned about.”

I nod to myself, rubbing my mustache. “Good, I’m glad,” I rasp.

“Are you doing alright? You sound tired,” he says.

I huff. “Yeah, I am.”

“How are things going?” Fletch asks.

“What do you mean?”

“With Shiloh,” he says carefully.

I wince, rubbing at the hurt in my chest. “I told her I love her, then she told me she wanted to be friends, and then she moved out before I got home.”

“Oh shit,” Fletch says.

“Yeah. I don’t know what I did.”

Fletcher is quiet for a moment. “Is it possible you didn’t do anything wrong?” he asks.

“Last time I checked, when you tell your wife you love her, and then she runs away from you, it doesn’t seem mutual, does it?” I snap.