Page 139 of Cautious Love

I nod. “I went to check it out and didn’t find anything.”

She nods and shifts on her feet.

I start to lay back down, expecting her to leave, even if I don’t want her to, then she closes the door behind her and crawls into bed with me.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

I sigh and stare at the ceiling. “What are you sorry for?” I ask her because I genuinely don’t know at this point. I need her to spell it out for me.

“For being a rude bitch.”

I pin my lips together. I don’t think she was being that. I think she’s scared, and I can’t force my wife to love me.

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you, and I don’t know how.”

“You just say it, Shy,” I mumble.

It hurts worse — her lying here after everything we’ve been through — she still doesn’t know what to say. We’ve given each other pieces of ourselves in this bed. It’s what I want to share with her for the rest of my life until my last breath.

But people change their minds. And I have to accept that she has.

“I don’t know how to start,” she whispers.

I sigh, refusing to look at her. “It’s late Shy I need to get up early.”

“You said you love me,” she whispers.

“I do.”

She’s quiet for a moment, and I soak in her heat next to me. I want to pull her into my arms and beg her to see what I see.

“Please look at me,” she rasps.

Chapter 34

Shiloh

I’mgladit’sdarkbecause he can’t see the tears brimming in my eyes. But I have to do this. Today shook me, and it gives me even more reason to pack up and leave.

Protect him because I love him.

“I’m not ready to say it,” I whisper.

“I never asked you to,” he rumbles as if it physically hurt him to say the words.

The dinner I barely ate feels like it’s about to come up. I’m doing this for him. Only I’m a gutless, selfish bitch, and I can’t get myself to divorce him sooner rather than later, so I’m going to do the next best thing, and force the space between us. I don’t see any other option.

It’s been a while, and Grey is in the wind.

Ledger is concerned about what Grey might do to me, but I’ve convinced myself that he’s never coming back, and I can finally move on. I can take the next step I had always planned on taking, even though it hurts to do it. But I think it’s the right thing — for both of us.

“We need to talk,” I whisper.

He huffs. “I’ve been trying to do that all day, and you choose now to do it?”

I palm his cheek, encouraging him to look at me, and he does, albeit reluctantly.

“I think it’s time for me to move out,” I whisper.