Page 116 of Cautious Love

I stare at the dog. Like horses and other animals, certain names either fit them or they don’t. Dropping to my haunches, I coax him over to me and look at his paws. He’s going to be a big boy.

“That might be more your department,” I mumble. The puppy grabs my thumb, mouthing it.

He is cute. He has the coloring of a German Shepherd, but the fur of a Collie; it’s speckled here and there with white and black spots. His ears are floppy, and his big brown eyes look up at me, and I can see the intelligence in them. He stands on his hind legs, reaching for me. I pet him on his soft head and stand.

“How about Dozer?” I ask her.

She looks down at the dog, and he sits there calmly, his eyes drooping in the process.

“Why, Dozer?” she asks.

I shrug. “If he’s anything like the dogs on the ranch, he’s got endless energy and will bulldoze through anything.”

She scratches under his chin, and he looks up at her. “Okay, I like it. Dozer, it is.”

The dog’s eyes brighten. Looks like that was the right name.

June came over and checked out the dog, and other than being a little too starved, he should be alright. We just need to get him to put on some weight.

I made us dinner and fed Dozer some chicken and rice. He gobbled it up so fast I don’t think he chewed.

June happened to have a kennel in her truck, so we were able to get that set up with the little bed that Shiloh bought.

She lets him outside in the back, and while I wash the dishes. She runs around with the puppy, and he’s utterly enthralled with her.

When I showed Shiloh the foundation for my house, I was hoping she saw more than that. She was hard to read in the moment, but I wanted to know how she’d react to it. I didn’t say it was going to beourhouse.

But I could see it. When I started building the place, it was simply part of the plan to move back onto Hayes land. Now I have Shiloh, and we’re already halfway there. But she either didn’t put two and two together, or she’s telling me something without saying a word. Meaning, she’s not interested in a future with me.

I try to ignore the sting of defeat and look at it this way. She might not be ready for, and I need to remember there is a very good reason for her to be slow to move forward with me. Though I hope it doesn’t include leaving me behind in the process.

They come in the door and I finish up the last dish, rinsing it and setting it in the rack to dry. I let the water out and finish rinsing out the sink, like I always do.

Shiloh gets Dozer into his kennel, and the dog yips in response.

I sigh to myself. Not all dogs like being kenneled, even if it’s what’s best for them. But some want to be by their person too.

“You’ll be okay. I promise,” she says, sticking her finger through the holes.

The dog licks one and looks at her like she’s going to leave him in there forever.

It’s time for bed, but we’ve barely had any time together, and I want to see where she’s at. Things have changed between us, yet it still feels like we’re just roommates, and I don’t know what to do with that. There have been some nights I find myself reaching on the other side of the bed for her, but she was never there to begin with.

Or maybe she’s giving me the hint and I’m too dense to see it.

“Hey, I meant to ask you if you heard anything about Grey,” she says.

I shake my head, still studying her.

“Oh, okay.”

“I know you don’t like checking in, but Shy, I’m begging you to call me, please,” I tell her.

She nods, still looking at the dog.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“For?”