Page 70 of Forever King

So they’re looking great because they’re happily married and doing work they love. That’s basically the same thing as I have going on, so why don’t I look as good as they do? I love my job, and I love Salem. It’s the same thing.

Even as I think that, I know it’s not. Why does it matter, though, if we’re only living together? How is that different from being married?

I have two fine specimens of married life right in front of me, so why not ask them?

The waiter brings me my drink, so I take a gulp of bourbon and ask, “Hey, I’m curious. What’s the difference between when you guys weren’t married and now?”

Marius puts his hands up and shakes his head. “I’m out. Eden and I only dated for a week before we got married, so I don’t think I can answer that. Ronan, you take this.”

My younger brother smiles, rolling his eyes at how absurd the story of our brother and Eden’s relationship sounds, still today. “Okay, well I think it’s a matter of knowing you have someone in your life you can be sure will be there tomorrow.”

Salem and I already have that. I don’t think she’s going anywhere, and I know for damn sure I’m not. It has to be more than that.

“That can’t be it, though. It’s not like you thought Kate was going to be out cruising for guys before you got married.”

Ronan thinks about that for a moment and shrugs. “I don’t know then.”

Maybe I need to take another approach to my research on marriage. Maybe it’s not just the act of being married that makes the difference.

“Okay, how about this then? What do you like about being married? What makes it something you’re happy you did?”

The two of them look at one another and then at me. “What’s this all about? Why are you asking what we like about being married?” Ronan asks.

“I’m curious,” I say and then take another drink of bourbon. “Can’t a guy be curious?”

Marius leans forward and stares into my eyes. It’s more than a little creepy, so I open mine wide and ask, “Did you lose something? This can’t be how you used to get women, can it? Because it’s fucking weird.”

Sitting back in his chair, he answers, “No, shithead. I’m wondering what’s wrong with you. That’s all.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me. I was just making conversation. Sorry for being curious about my brothers’ lives.”

I take another big gulp of my drink and swallow hard as I lift the menu in front of me. Leave it to these two to give me a hard time about this. I should have just asked Matthias. He’s always so distracted by work and his kids that he would have given me a real answer without even realizing it.

As I scan the menu, I hear Ronan say, “I can tell you why I love being married. I’m crazy about Kate, and I get to wake up next to her every morning. I love starting the day off like that.”

Although I should ignore him and Marius since they gave me such a hard time, I can’t avoid pointing out the obvious to him, so I lower my menu and say, “You lived with her for over a year and woke up every morning right next to her. How was that different than now that you’re married?”

It’s a valid question, even though I know it sounds like I’m simply busting his balls. I’m not, though. I genuinely want to know what about marriage makes my brothers happy.

Ronan’s face twists into a look of disgust, and his shoulders sag. “I guess you’re right. I think the answer to your original question is I don’t know. Maybe nothing’s different now that we’re married. I mean, other than legal stuff.”

I don’t care about that, so I’m left not knowing why marriage is something that makes him happy. Of course, Marius has to give his two cents after Ronan.

“I think the whole thing with marriage is it’s a commitment to someone. That’s the main difference from living together.”

For a moment, I think about his answer, but it doesn’t work for me. Salem and I have been committed to one another for years. We own a penthouse together. We own nearly everything together.

“I don’t want to burst your bubble, dude, but lots of people who aren’t married are committed to others. Take Salem and me, for example. Everything that’s hers is mine and vice versa. Marriage isn’t the only method of being committed.”

Of course, he has to burst my bubble. “That’s not true at all. She may be the beneficiary who will get your money in the event of your untimely death, but that’s only because of your will, which is a legal document. I don’t need to have that for Eden to get my money when I kick off. And what about that business Salem owns with her sister? You have no rights to that at all. You would if you were married.”

Even as his words dig into my brain, making a nest of growing worries in there, I outwardly work to make sure I don’t react to his comments. Waving my hand, I force a laugh. “Like I need anything more than the money I have. If that’s all you have to promote marriage, I don’t see why anyone does it.”

The two of them shake their heads. “It’s not that marriage is useful or needed, I guess,” Ronan says. “It’s that I didn’t want to be with anyone else, so why wouldn’t I get married to the only woman I want to see every day for the rest of my life?”

I want to say I think that’s great, but that might open me up to questions about why Salem and I haven’t tied the knot yet, so I’m forced to be a jackass. “Dude, that just sounds sad. I guess that’s how it is with you, though, because you never loved anyone else, so why not get married?”

As much as I know that sounds shitty since I honestly believe being married to Kate makes my younger brother happier than he would be if he didn’t marry her, I can’t let them know I’m starting to worry that Salem and I might never get married. Better for them to think of me as an asshole who hates the mere concept of marriage than that.