Page 13 of I Dare You
Where was He when that truck veered onto the wrong side of the road, killing my parents but keeping me alive?
I survived without a scratch.
Where was He when I clung to my father’s cooling corpse, begging He bring my father back to me?
He was nowhere to be found, and that’s because He does not exist.
The only thing that does is the darkness, which is married with pain.These two factors embrace me tight and lull me into a quiet bubble because once my uncle drops his belt with a thud, I know what comes next.
He spins me around, and I do as he instructed the first night I arrived—I drop to my knees.
I begin reciting prayer after prayer, Uncle Leon stroking my hair as I do.Like I am his dog.It feels wrong, but I don’t fight it.This isn’t sexual.This is about control and servitude.
With hands interlaced, I close my eyes, praying that God forgives me.
One hour becomes two, and only when Uncle Leon says I am absolved of my sins am I pure again.
However, I feel anything but.
Seated in the cafeteria, I tear off the stale crusts from my peanut butter sandwich.But I don’t have much of an appetite.
My behind is sore from Uncle Leon’s beating yesterday.His cruelty is getting worse.And there’s nothing I can do about it.
I don’t want to be here.
But I have nowhere else to go.
I wonder if things will get better, but as I see the triple thReats enter, I know this is as good as it gets.
I immediately avoid eye contact, sinking into myself and wishing to be invisible.After yesterday, I never want to interact with them ever again.
“They let anyone in here,” Rebecca mocks, clearly referring to me.
My peers giggle.
I’m about to leave, but Dandy sits across from me and grabs my hand to stop me.Instantly, I feel relieved.
Rebecca turns up her lip, and her group changes direction and sits elsewhere.It seems she’s not that brave when I have someone on my side.
I let out a sigh of relief.I don’t want a repeat performance of yesterday.
Dandy calms me, then blurts out, “Eww, what are you eating?”
And this is why I like Dandy.What you see is what you get.
He slides his lunch tray between us.“Here, we can share.”
I am extremely touched by his generosity.But I don’t want to make a fuss in case he thinks I’m weird.
He opens his carton of milk and offers it to me.I feel bad, but he makes it clear he won’t take no for an answer.And his lunch looks far more appetizing than mine.
“Sorry I left so suddenly last night,” I say, taking a sip of milk.
Dandy takes a bite of a french fry.“Honestly, I should be apologizing to you for making you ride with my brother.”
I almost choke on my milk.“He was fine.Nice, actually.”
Dandy stops chewing and arches a brow.“Nice?I think you’ve mistaken my brother for someone else.”
