Page 109 of Checking It Twice
“I’m listening.”
“And our first date lasted three days,” I admit.
The silence on the other end is deafening. I get it—it sounds insane when I say it out loud.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“We’re... it’s complicated.”
“Complicated how? As in ‘we’re still pretending but with benefits’ or complicated as in ‘holy shit this got real fast’?”
I can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips. “More like the second one.”
Bryn’s shriek is so loud I have to turn down the volume. “Clare Johnson! Are you telling me you’ve been shacked up with Mitchell Drake for three days and didn’t think to mention this to your best friend?”
“It just happened. He asked me to come over for dinner and things just… progressed from there.”
“You absolute disaster. I’m proud of you.”
“Proud?”
“You finally stopped overthinking long enough to let yourself have something good. Though I am slightly concerned about the pace here. This is very un-Clare-like behavior.”
She’s right. This is the opposite of my usual careful, calculated approach to relationships. I usually need weeks to decide if I want to sleep with someone, maybe even months.
“I know it’s fast,” I say. “But it feels right. He feels right.”
“Right how? Give me details. I need to know if this is love or just really good sex making you stupid.”
“Bryn!”
“What? I’m looking out for you. You’ve been burned by a hockey player before.”
I think about the way he looked at me this morning, like I was something precious. The lunch bag sitting in my passenger seat with my name written in his handwriting.
“It’s different with him,” I say quietly. “He’s different. He packed my lunch this morning.”
“He packed your—” She stops. “Oh no. You’re in love with him.”
The words hit me like a slap. Am I? Is that what this feeling is, this desperate need to be near him, this way my chest aches when I think about him leaving for California?
“I don’t know,” I admit.
“Bullshit. You know. You’re just scared to say it.”
She’s right, and that terrifies me more than anything else. Because love means vulnerability. It means giving someone the power to destroy you. And I’ve worked so hard to build walls that keep me safe.
“What if he gets tired of me?” The question slips out before I can stop it. “What if this is just the novelty wearing off and in a few weeks he realizes I’m not worth the complications?”
“Clare.” Bryn’s voice goes soft, serious. “Has he given you any reason to think that?”
I think about the way he holds me while he sleeps. The way he remembered how I like my coffee without me having to tell him. The way he asked me to be his girlfriend like he was afraid I might say no.
“No,” I say. “The opposite, actually.”
“Then stop borrowing trouble. Some men are actually decent, you know. And from everything you’ve told me about this guy, he sounds like one of the good ones.”
I pull into the arena parking lot, but I don’t get out of the car yet. “He’s leaving for California tomorrow.”
