Page 24 of The Influencer and The Introvert
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, because it needs to be acknowledged, but what else do you say to that? I imagine a ten-year-old Colt waiting for his mother in the hospital while he didn’t know he’d just had his last hug, his last conversation…his last everything with her and I have to blink away the tears that threaten to fall.
“Me too.” He adjusts my arm before I try the next throw. “It’s like a slingshot. Just let your elbow be loose and…fling.” There’s a small laugh from him as he steps back. This time, my throw gets a single skip, and I whoop.
“Yay! I got one!”
We keep alternating turns skipping. Each time Colt watches, he gives me pointers and keeps skipping rocks like a pro.
“I can see why this was helpful. It’s a lot to think about, and you don’t let your mind wander much.”
He hums in agreement. “Exactly. I was very much an anxious child. I spent a lot of time with my mom. Teased at school about it.” He offers me a twisted smile. “The anxiety was worse after that, as you can imagine.”
“Can I ask about your dad? How did he handle it?”
Colt turns to me in the moonlight with a half smile. Not a happy one, but one that projects the inside thoughts of a ten-year-old boy missing his mother.
“I didn’t know him. Mom got pregnant, and he didn’t stick around. She told my uncle once that it didn’t matter, but I think she was always sad he didn’t stay, you know?” He kicks at the dirt with the toe of his boot. “My Uncle Albert raised me. He’s twenty years older than my mom, so you can expect it was a shock for him to gain custody of his nephew and grieve his little sister all at once.”
Parts of Colt’s demeanor click into place with this revelation, and I wonder how many people know this about him. Obviously, the townspeople would know about what happened, but do they know how it’s affected him all these years?
“He’s a wonderful man to do that. Are you close?”
Now his smile is full and happy. “Yeah. He’s awesome. I call him Uncle Albert, but he’s like a dad, and he always felt like that, even when my mom was still around. It was a change for him, though. He went from the fun uncle to being a full-time parent at 48, almost overnight. We were lost with each other for a while.”
He shakes his head, like he wants to clear himself of the sad memories. “Sorry to bring our night down. I didn’t mean to spill all that on you, but I can…I can trust you with it?” He ends with a question, and I immediately settle what I think might be in his head.
“Yes, you can, Colt. This isn’t social media material. Don’t worry about that. I’d never use something so personal. That’s not what my job is.”
He nods and skips a few rocks while I watch, andfigure I should share with him after he’d been so open and raw with me.
“I took this contract to put distance between me and a man who broke my heart.” Colt stands still with his back to me, and I continue. “You asked me when we met if I missed having a home, and I wasn’t truthful. I’ve struggled for the past few months, adjusting to life without one.”
“I’m sorry.”
Colt’s phrase echoes mine, and I smile even though he can’t see. He doesn’t need to know the details of my messy breakup and a sad tale about falling fast and hard for the wrong man.
“Do you want to get a cream soda?” I ask.
“Yeah.” Colt nods. “Let’s go to the gas station. It’s still open.”
He skips one last rock before we leave, and it skips six times before sinking.
I wantthe night to keep going, but Colt’s yawns are coming more frequently, and I don’t want him to lose sleep before work. I can work at any time, but he can’t.
“We should probably call it a night. You’ve been awake for a long time.”
We’ve been sitting on the tailgate of his truck, drinking cream soda and sharing stories about growing up. It’s honestly one of the most fulfilling nights I’ve had with another person in a very long time.
There’s a rawness to it that’s cathartic in a way. The more we talk, the more I realize my ex never listened the way Colt does. Perhaps I was blinded by all the glamor, like my mom said. Choosing to equate the depth of his feelings with the price tags of his gifts.
Colt’s sleepy smile confirms my thoughts of him being exhausted.
“You’re right. I should definitely get to sleep.” He pauses and inhales deeply. “Would it be okay for me to say I wish tonight didn’t have to end? Or is that too much?”
I love how he’s opened up so much in the last few hours. It’s been nice to talk like this. I usually talk to my mom when life gets too deep, but another man with his own wounds provides a different balm. Perhaps one that might provide the last healing I need to move on.
“Yeah, because I feel the same. This has been an amazing night, Colt.”
He pushes off the tailgate, all smooth and effortless as I wiggle to the front for a less graceful thump. Colt’s hand appears and, without a thought, I take it as I push off the tailgate. It’s not a big deal. I’m an adult, and it’s the back of a truck, but somehow Colt doesn’t make me feel embarrassed about being awkward about it.
