Page 39 of My Husband Problem

“Well…that’s…great,” Miles finally says.

I hit the park and turn onto the winding path that leads along the stream. There are other people out walking now at this time of day, and I realize I’m going to have to be more careful what I say in case I’m overheard.

“Morning, Astrid,” Emily Andrews greets as I pass.

“Morning,” I return. Then I answer Miles. “Howis that great?”

“You get to see what it’s like to actually spend time with your hot husband that you’re crazy about,” Miles says as if that’s obvious. “And you can’t run away.”

I frown. “I…” Okay, I totally ran away. I avoided him at all costs in Portland. I snuck out of our rooms in Cara, which I hadn’t realized Declan had realized. And I moved halfway across the country.

Miles chuckles. “If he’s going to try to convince you to stay married, he’s going to have to actuallydo something. This will be interesting. And could be fun.”

I can picture the grin on his face that goes with that tone of voice. I know what he means by ‘interesting’ and ‘fun’.

Avoiding Declan,leavingDeclan, has been easy because he hasn’t put up a fight. At all. But if he did resist, if he had come after me, if he’d givenanyeffort toward being a husband…I don’t know if I could have resisted.

And he would have realized that I’m not going to be able to be the wife he needs, and all of this could have been over a long time ago.

I swallow hard against the tightness in my throat.

Has there been a part of me that’s been putting off telling him the truth about my injury, chronic pain, and sexual dysfunction to prolong our marriage?

Maybe. Probably.

Is it because it’s one more failure I just didn’t want to face?

For sure.

Is it also because I wanted a chance to try physical therapy one more time in an effort to fix the issues that make sex painful and nearly impossible?

Yes.

But I don’t know if it’s worked because, obviously, I haven’t tried sex and… I’m scared.

Of the pain, sure, but more scared of disappointing Declan and having him demand the divorce that I’ve been lying to myself about wanting.

I sniff, fighting the tears stinging the backs of my eyes.

This annulment is perfect. It’s the king’s idea, it’s clean and neat, neither Declan nor I have to initiate it, and Declan never has to know that I’m broken.

“I am not—” I lower my voice as I smile at Maxine and Marv Compton and take a seat on the bench to my right. “I am not crazy about him. I am just crazyattractedto him.”

I know Miles doesn’t believe me for a second.

“And you’ve kissed him, and it was good. Doesn’t that make you curious about the rest?” Miles asks.

Miles knows all about my pain and issues, but while he’s supportive of whatever lifestyle I choose—bonkers-hockey-team-owner-duck-farmer-spinster, for instance—he still thinks I should try seducing my husband just once. At least.

“The good kissing doesn’t matter,” I tell him.

He snorts in disbelief.

“Buthaving him herecould bea good thing,” I say. “If me living across the country from him and spending all his moneyand making a mockery of his favorite sport isn't enough to make him dump my ass, then him being right here in the midst of all of this, with me every single day, will definitely drive him nuts. I’ll make sure of it.”

Miles takes only a second to process all of that. “You’re going to torture him in person.”

“I don’t love your terminology, but…yes.”