Page 109 of My Husband Problem

“I have a general idea.”

“So they’re for stretching. To help with p-pe-penetration.” I trip on that word, and I hate it. “Penetration,” I say loud and firm.

He grins. “Good.”

I am determined to be fully upfront, not embarrassed, not awkward about this at all. Of all the people I need to talk to frankly about this, he and Thea are pretty much tied. He probably comes in slightly ahead of her, in fact.

I clear my throat and force myself to meet his gaze. “The dilators are to help me work on pain-freepenetration,” I say clearly. “And I am able to use the biggest one without pain now. I work up to it a little bit with some massage and some really good fantasies about you. Your fingers, your mouth, dirty talk, that kind of thing. I use a little buzzing vibrator on my clit. I usually have an orgasm first. Then I work on massage and inserting the dilator.”

Declan is staring down at me, breathing a little faster now. I can feel that his fingers have curled into my lower back and my hair a little tighter. He is holding himself very tensely. I feel like the temperature around us has climbed at least twenty degrees, but he hasn’t dropped my gaze.

When he realizes I am done with my recitation, he takes a deep breath.

“That’s all great,” he says, his voice sounding a little tight. “I’m really proud of you.”

I swallow. Wow. That hit me hard. And his praise makes me even hotter. “Thank you.”

“I’m also so glad that you stole my shirt.”

I smile. “I’m glad you’re not upset about that.”

“I am also really fucking…” He shakes his head. “Conflicted.”

My brows arch. “Conflicted?”

“We’re being totally honest here, right?”

“Obviously.”

“I know that we are talking about pain, and a medical condition, and physical therapy. And some mental therapy that went along with it.”

I press my lips together and give him a little nod.

“But I’m also really fucking turned on right now knowing that you used my shirt and body wash and fantasies about me. The idea that I was kind of there, helping you, is…definitely a turn-on and that’s maybe inappropriate.”

I blow out a relieved breath. “No, don’t feel bad about that. I’m glad.”

“Really?” He asks, still looking concerned.

“Yeah, I mean the idea of me touching myself and making myself come should turn you on, right?”

His shoulders sag, and he nods. “It really, really fucking does.”

I laugh, feeling lighter, relief flowing through me. “Good. The idea ofyoudoing those things definitely turnsmeon.”

His fingers flex against me again. “Good.”

We stand just staring at each other for a moment, then he says, “So you’re not sure how this is going to go. Which is fine. Can I ask how long it’s been since you had sex with another person?”

“Of course, you can ask that. It’s been years. I tried it about a year after my injury, and it was horrible. He was really nice about it, but in addition to the pain, the fact that I couldn’t do it was pretty traumatic. So, it’s been at least five years.”

He’s staring at me. Then he brings me against his chest, hugging me. I feel his lips against the top of my head. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of this.”

That makes tears prick at the back of my eyelids, and I allow myself to hug him back.

“Thank you.”

The hug goes on for nearly a minute before I finally pull back and look up. “I think things are about to get a lot better.”