Page 221 of Seasons of War
After Zayne had pushed her onto her forearms in the basement, Kira had plastered her own face in the blood. He hadn't been able to do it. He'd been frozen, searching for an escape for her.
He never wanted to see blood on this face again.
Her eyes opened, and he found the strength to smile. “Better, isn't it? Things will get better.” His chest hurt so bad he swore something ripped it open. “You'll get better. Don't be scared. Let yourself drift until you're ready to come back.”
Lost green eyes stared into his. He lowered her hair beneath the water, dipping to whisper in her ear.
“I have a new plan. This one will work. You're going home.” No reaction. “I know you don't believe me because I said this so many times, but this one is real. It's real, Kira. You're going home with your mom.”
Holding her against himself with one hand, he lathered her hair with shampoo with the other. The blood was so thick. It kept rushing from her hair. Finally, he felt the silky strands against his fingers, each piece so fine.
He cupped his hands over her forehead to keep the soapy water from rushing into her eyes and rinsed her hair.
How much of this was his mother's blood turning the water red?
Kira clutched his forearm with her strongest grip yet. She turned her cheek against his arm, speaking so much more than words might convey. After all this, she didn't hate him. Still needed him.
Why?
The anger tried to overcome him. What had to happen for Kira to finally run far away from him? He lifted one of her hands and wiped the lines of her palms where the blood clung most stubbornly. Her arms next. The nape of her neck.
He hated the blood covering her skin. Hated the pain making her tremble. There was nothing between them in this moment. The Phaedra destroyed everything, and they were left clinging to whatever remained of themselves.
For years, he tried not to think about her. But it wasn't that familiar fight he wrestled with now. It was something much deeper.
When Zayne first met Kira, he thought she looked so beautiful and unbreakable. Her defiance ran deeper than anger, stronger than rebellion. From the beginning, he knew not to linger on her pouty lips, or her willowy curves, or her softness and warmth. But when he took off his mask and kissed her, he savored all that he had spent the night avoiding. Toying with her to hear her gasp. Worshipping her tongue with his own. Learning how to make her arch into him just right.
And then he left her behind.
Even though he continued protecting her, he also protected them from each other with the space.
Since she came back into his life, he dedicated himself to that distance, despite repeated failings.
But Zayne cared for her so much. Holding her while she was broken destroyed any distance. This was much stronger than wanting to kiss her, or trying not to remember, or not letting her spirit pull him in. Kira held his entire heart in her trembling hands. She held his past and future. Held his strength and weakness. His devotion.
Held the unnamed and the hidden. All he tried in vain to forbid.
There was nothing he wouldn't give to erase this blood from her body and soul and heal her pain. And there was no one on the planet he wouldn't sacrifice for her.
He rubbed blood off her smooth arm, knowing what he kept pretending he didn't know. Even if he refused to think about it, that didn't change what Kira meant to him.
He was fucked.
CHAPTER 51
Zayne
The Capital
Kallum, Ciondo
833 P.C. [Post-Collapse]
Zayne scrubbed the last of the dried blood from Kira's shoulder when her weak voice drifted over him.
“You came back…” She spoke so unexpectedly that Zayne couldn't breathe.
“I'll always come back,” he said, cradling her on his lap still.
