Page 96 of Scream For Me
“I’m so sorry,” I cry out abruptly, hot tears streaming down my face.
The apology burst out of me before I can stop it. Shame has worked its way into every fiber of my being for so long now that an apology is automatic. My body shakes with sobs and I’m vaguely aware of movement before Elias is on his knees in front of me. He moves his face into my view, his brows knitted with concern. He cups my jaw, his thumb rubbing gently over my cheek.
“Don’t ever be sorry, Kat. Ever.” His voice isn’t soft—it’s firm. The same voice I’ve heard him use when taking business calls.
“You didn’t sign up for this.”
“No, I signed up foryouand everything that comes with that. It’s all for you, Kat.” His thumb stills on my cheek, and his jaw tightens. “Three years,” he says quietly. “Three years that bastard thought he owned you.”
I close my eyes and let my head fall into his palm. My tears pool as he continues stroking my cheek.
“He won’t be the first person I kill, but he will be the one I take the most pleasure in.”
My spine stiffens. Something deep inside me settles low in my stomach. Something I haven’t felt in a long time.
Control.
“No,” I say, standing up from the bed. “It has to be me.”
My voice doesn’t sound like mine.
I walk across the room to the window. For years the only goal was to survive before I begged for death. Then it was to escape, then to stay hidden. The thought of revenge has never crossed my mind—revenge is something people stronger than me get to fantasize about.
I watch the quiet residential street as if I’m seeing it for the first time. A mother holding the back of her child’s bicycle, the child glancing back with a smile. Further down the street, a husband kisses his wife before getting into his car. Cars drive slowly past, going about their days without pause. I want that. Ideservethat.
Owen took everything from me. My freedom. My music. My fucking life. For over a year, I’ve deluded myself into thinking I was free. I was never free—it was always an illusion. I’ve been running like a mouse from a cat. A mouse waiting to be caught. A mouse waiting to die. And I’m so fucking tired of running.
“Owen took three years of my life. For three years I was drugged, raped, trafficked, and beaten both physically and mentally.” I take a breath, letting the curtain fall closed. “He took everything from me and I’ve spent the past year trying to claw back pieces of myself. But in reality, I’ll never be who I was. I will never be whole again.”
I’ve never said those words aloud. I push their memory from my mind as soon as it enters because it’s too fucking painful. They feel like facts from someone else’s life. I let a silent tear fall down my cheek. Elias is there instantly, wiping it away. He doesn’t say anything, he just gives me the space to continue.
“I’ve spent the last fifteen months of my life on the run from him. I have to wear a fucking cowl to perform because I can’t risk being seen playing music—the one fucking thing that brought me joy.” I ball my fists at my side, leaving deep crescents in my palms. “He broke me. Completely ruined me. I faked my death. That bought me time, but that time is now running out. I won’t know peace until I know he’s dead.”
My breathing is shallow and ragged as I let the words hang in the air. Resolve settles within me. I have to do this. But more importantly, I feel strong enough to do this with Elias by my side.
I look up at Elias. What I find when I look in his eyes could level the city. Pride. Not pity or sadness.Pride. For once, I let the pride inside myself shine through.
I’m proud of myself.
“I’ll be right there by your side,” he tells me while taking my hand, his warmth seeping into my skin. His grip on my hand tightens. “And if you want to be the one to end him, then I’ll make sure you get the chance.”
My heart stutters in my chest. “You think I can do it?” I whisper.
“Kat,” he says with a soft huff. “You survived him. You escaped him. You rebuilt your entire life while on the run. And you’re asking me if you’re strong enough to pull a trigger?”
“I guess so,”
“Kat, you’re the strongest person I know,” he says, pressing my hand to his chest. “This heart beats only for you. And if you want to snuff out the source of your darkness, I’ll be the light that stands beside you. Every ounce of fucking blood in these veins belongs to you. You own every fiber of me. Every stained part of my soul is yours. Forever and always, until day becomes eternal night. Yours.”
My heart swells in my chest as a small sob escapes. I fist his shirt and pull him towards me. Our kiss isn’t frantic or wanting. It’s a kiss of acceptance. He gave me his soul, and I’m pouring mine into this kiss. Everything I am. Everything I ever will be.
I guide him to the bed, our lips never parting for a second.
“I love you, Kat,” he whispers as he enters me.
My chest swells with the weight of the day. I bared everything to this man, and he still loves me. Acceptance and love. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. And now I have it.
We finish together as tears fall from my eyes. Happy tears. Tears I never thought I’d shed again. He kisses them from my cheeks, and I let myself drift away into peace as I fall asleep in the arms of the man I love.
