Page 39 of Bargaining

She nodded, encouraging me to continue. The words wedged somewhere between my heart and my throat and I pushed them back down. No point in trying to explain my fucked-up family. It would only make me look weak. “About what just happened between us—”

“Forget it. We can pretend it didn’t.”

“Is that what you want?”

“It’s better if we stick to the contract.”

I spread my fingers over the keys. “We could amend the contract.”

“Orgasms but not feelings, right? You already told me you don’t have a heart.”

“Sex and feelings are two different things. You have physical needs that I’m happy to satisfy. We can keep them separate. It doesn’t have to be deep.”

She shook her head and her mouth curved in a sarcastic smile. “Not deep. Of course.”

Her silk gown had a Japanese pattern, cherry blossoms and temples. My fingers itched to slide her robe down, sweep her hair to the side, and plant kisses along the bare skin of her shoulders. To trace the curve of her neck with my lips.

“I’ve been clear about what I can give to this. I don’t have time for or interest in a relationship. It’s not me. It’s not what I want. But it’s clear we have chemistry. I can make you feel good if you’ll let me. Look at it as a pleasant distraction.”

“I get it, Cole. You want casual. I’ve met men like you before. Emotionally unavailable. It’s tiresome. You want a woman at your beck and call, but if she dares to want more from you, she’s needy and demanding. You get twitchy if she leaves a toothbrush at your place.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but there was some truth in her words, and maybe I’d got tired of it all. My friends were settled down. I couldn’t deny that the past couple of years had felt lonely. I didn’t have time for the emotional investment in a relationship. My energy had to be channeled elsewhere. If I was going to make my father pay for what he’d done to my mother, I had to stay focused. Emotions were something I couldn’t afford, but low-effort hookups felt meaningless lately. I hardly bothered. That’s why this was theideal scenario. A wife on my own terms with orgasms thrown in to keep us both happy.

“Sex is just sex. It’s a physical release. Whatever it is, our bodies respond to each other,” I said.

“Yes, we have chemistry, but we also have history.” She let out a deep sigh. “I can see this heading down a road I’m not going to like. It’s better in the long term if we stick to the contract. You hurt me once before. I’d be an idiot to go there with you again. It’s better to stop now.”

She was making a good decision, but disappointment ground in my gut. “But you still want to marry me?”

She gave me a small smile. “I may as well. I’m here now, aren’t I?”

As much as I longed for this woman in my bed, this would have to do. A marriage on paper. I could keep her close and take care of her. The craving would pass. I let my eyes linger on her one last time before I rose from the piano stool. It didn’t feel right to bring her here. Charlotte didn’t seem happy in the city. London wasn’t good for the soul. I’d get her out of here. Take her to the countryside. Build her an art studio. Whatever it took to put a smile on her face.

“I have a place in the Cotswolds. I’m busy with work this week, but I’ll take you to see it next week. Would you like that?”

She kept her face turned away. Her voice sounded a million miles away. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

Chapter 18

Charlotte

We drove down one narrow, winding country lane after another, past acres of neatly trimmed hedgerows and quaint villages. The rolling fields dotted with sheep reminded me of home, except the Cotswolds were too polished. They lacked the rugged wildness of the Yorkshire countryside. Everything was neat and uniform. Pristine panoramas suited Cole, but they weren’t for me. I missed the bitter wind and starkness of the moors.

After an endless trundle along a gravel driveway, Cole’s driver drew to a halt. I looked out of the window and my mouth fell open. Ancient ivy-covered stone rose upward and outward at the heart of a sprawling estate. There were too many windows to count. This wasn’t a house, it was a stately home.

Cole opened the car door for me and held out his hand. “We’ve got a tennis court, croquet lawn, gym, cinema, Estonian igloo sauna. Two pools, indoor and outdoor.”

I stepped out into warm sunshine. “Estonian igloo sauna?”

“Yes.”

“And why did you bring me here, exactly?”

“So you can have a look. You might prefer it out here. It’s cozier than London.”

Cozy? Maybe for a Saudi prince.I peered up at the turrets on the roof. “It’s enormous.”

He shrugged. “Space is good.”