Page 110 of Bargaining

Chapter 52

Cole

Charlotte sprinted out onto the lawn. She was waving a notebook in the air. I turned off the lawn mower and pulled off my ear protectors. She thrust the notebook into my hand. “Please. You need to read this. I found it in Dad’s study.”

She smoothed her hair and fiddled with the buttons on her plaid shirt.

I scanned the page, reading Roy’s take on the night I’d asked for help. My heart sank. I’d have happily taken it to my grave if it protected Roy’s memory in her mind.

I looked up to find her watching me. “He told you to cut off contact.”

I sighed. “You have to understand what I was asking of him. You mustn’t think anything bad about him because of this. He was trying to protect you. My father is a tyrant. He’s petty and deranged. He could have taken away your dad’s job. Shut the school down. Ruined your chance at going to art school. He was capable of anything to get his own way. Roy couldn’t fight him. We only wanted to protect you.”

“I would have managed. I could have taken care of myself.”

“You spent years taking care of your father. Maybe you could see this as his way of taking care of you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”

“Because I hated the idea of you thinking anything bad about Roy.”

“I get it. I do,” she whispered. “I love my dad. It’s easy to put someone on a pedestal after they’re gone, but we’re all just human. We all make human choices. These diaries are full of how much joy he took in being a father. It’s on every page.”

“I wasn’t pleasant company for the years I was in New York. I don’t like the man I became, and I wouldn’t want to have dragged you into it all. Roy made a good decision. We were just kids.”

Her eyes glimmered with tears. “We were kids, but we were the real thing. Don’t you think? I loved you so much.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” I hardly dared move. “I never really cared much for Latin. It was just a way to be here and close to you. If I came over to the house, I might see you.”

Her eyes softened. “Learning a dead language to see your crush is quite the flex.”

“Right?”

She stepped closer. “I’m sorry for what you went through alone. It must have been such a difficult time. All these years.” She chewed her lip and frowned. “I need some time to process this. I have to let it sink in. Tiff’s coming round later. We’re going to go through the diaries together.” She took a deep breath, as though trying to steady herself. Hope and vulnerability flickered in her eyes. “You can join us. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

A glow lit inside my chest. “Yes. I’d like that. I’d like that very much. Thank you.”

“Maybe we could watch one of those DVDs together after?” She toed the ground and shot me a bashful look. “You don’t have to if you think it’s silly—”

“It’s not silly. I’d like that, too.”There’s nothing I’d like more.

Chapter 53

Charlotte

On warm Friday nights, the village came together to watch the kids playing cricket. Cole and I sat at the edge of the green, drinking tea from polystyrene cups. Tiff and I had played on the junior cricket team for years. Dad had watched every practice session and match. I sat with my back against a tall oak and my sketch pad in my lap.

Cole tipped his face down and his eyes locked with mine. “Are you sure this is my good side?”

“Both sides are equally lovely. I just need you to keep still and hold back on the death glare.”

The lines at the corner of his eyes crinkled with amusement, and I sketched them in. I’d been learning every new line in his perfect face since he’d come back into my life. Tiff was coming round later to read some more of the journals with me. Reading them together was a new way of getting to know Dad. I could forgive my father for sending Cole away because I understood his intentions were good. If things had been different, maybe Cole and I would have never parted. Maybe we would have. Who knew? History was important, but never a good place to dwell for too long. We had to live forward.

I took a deep breath. It felt good to get out of the house, away from the paint fumes, and breathe. We’d glossed the skirting boards today. That was the last big task. The house was almost ready. Cole must have been thinking about leaving here soon.

“I bet you’re itching to get back to work,” I said.

“No.” He ran his hand absently over the grass. “I haven’t missed it at all. The reasons I set up the company don’t interest me anymore.”