Page 50 of Forced into a Bratva Marriage
At the door, I stopped and glanced back at him. He was exactly as composed as he was before any of this.
I hated him.
But I hated myself even more.
“This changes nothing,” I said, walking out of his study.
I came in horny as fuck.
I left satisfied and drowning in guilt.
The corridor was cool and quiet, and I kept a steady pace all the way back to my room. My legs were shaking, and my heart was racing as I muttered the same phrase over and over: “This changes nothing.”
I moved in silence, my head bowed, with one question lingering on my mind.
What if it happens again? Will I be able to resist?
I claim this changes nothing.
But what if it already has?
Chapter 16 – Karik
The territorial dispute with the Irish had kept me busy for the past five days. I was hardly home during this period. I would return late at night, when almost every other staff member was asleep, and leave early the next morning, before they woke up.
I told myself it was because the assignment required my full attention. However, in reality, I was glad the situation arose when it did. Because now, I could use it as an excuse to keep my distance from Ellie.
After what happened in my study the other day, I thought it wise to avoid her for the time being. Not because she suddenly repulsed me or because I didn’t enjoy every bit of her. In fact, it was quite the contrary. I was losing my focus.
The sex was too good, much better than I ever imagined. Fast-paced and rough, with the kind of intensity that clearly showed our hunger for each other.
She gave in to the temptation she’d been running from. And that encounter created something capable of interfering with the way I operated.
I’d been with other women before, but none had ever awakened these strange emotions in me. None had lingered in my mind for more than 24 hours after intimacy. Yet Ellie had been living rent-free in my head since we had sex.
Five days, and I still hadn’t managed to get her out of my mind. It was as though she were cemented in my thoughts. The expression on her face, the sound of her moans, and the way her hands caressed my body.
These images kept me distracted, even during important meetings with Bratva elites. I was no longer in control of my own mind, and it was unsettling. I couldn’t understand why she had such an effect on me; it didn’t make sense at all.
It was supposed to be just sex.
We both had an itch, and we helped each other scratch it. No big deal. At least that’s what I thought when I teased and seduced her. But obviously, I was wrong. Now I was left to wonder whether I was also in her head as much as she was in mine.
That uncertainty was killing me slowly.
The craziest thing about this whole situation was that her presence in my head intensified my desire for her. The more I recalled the incident, the more I longed to touch her again, to kiss those soft lips and feel her warmth.
At night, the sound of her moans kept me up, a constant reminder of what I was missing. Three times, I ended up beating my meat just to release the tension. It helped. But it wasn’t the real thing. In fact, it only fanned the flames of my lust.
I wanted more: more and more of her. And that insatiable need was starting to affect my productivity at work.
She said the sex didn’t change anything.
But unfortunately for me, it had.
It changed the way I saw her, the way I thought of her, and the way I would later relate to her. I felt more connected to her than I ever was with any other woman, and that shit was scary—especially for a man like me.
I wasn’t sure what would’ve happened by now if this dispute with the Irish hadn’t kept me away. Although a part of me was glad about the distance between us, the other part couldn’t wait to end this issue and get back to her.
