Page 80 of You Belong to Me
She winced. “Oh, but I—was, obviously.”
“But, my dear, you must know you’re too unconventional. That habit you have of saying exactly what you think or feel would be ruinous to my career.”
“I must still be rather stupid, because I don’t understand why you continued to write me, to send me poetry and words of love.”
He had the grace to blush. “I don’t believe in burning my bridges, darling. I still hoped we would one day end up in bed together.”
Why wasn’t she furious, or slapping him, or crying? “You should have said so,” she replied flatly. “I probably would have been quite willing at the time.”
“But you were an innocent and I don’t—” He paused, and his expression changed to a curious, hopeful look. “Are you still?”
Alexandra decided a lie was appropriate at that point. “Yes.”
“A shame.” He sighed. “But tell me, what are you doing here in London? I hope you didn’t come all this way just to see me.”
Another lie, for her pride’s sake. “No, I didn’t. I just ended an engagement to a Cardinian count and decided to travel a while before returning home.”
“A Cardinian?” He was suddenly excited. “Is there no hope of patching that up?”
“Why?”
“Because that would be ideal for us, darling. I’ve just learned that I’m going to be assigned to the embassy in Cardinia in a few months. And if you’re there, and married—”
“That would be an excellent idea, Christopher, except…even if I did marry my Cardinian, and did find the need for a lover, which would, in fact, be likely”—she patted his cheek before ending—“I am absolutely certain that I wouldn’t choose you.” And she walked out of the room with her pride intact, if a little bruised.
36
Nina was waiting for her when she returned to her hotel room, and one look at Alexandra’s expression made Nina say, “He wasn’t there, was he?”
Alexandra removed her coat and sat down carefully on the bed. “Oh, he was there,” she replied dryly. “And we had quite an interesting conversation. Apparently lechers aren’t exclusive to Cardinia.”
“I never thought they were.” Then Nina’s eyes flared in understanding. “You mean the Honorable Christopher Leighton isn’t so honorable?”
Alexandra nodded and, as briefly as she could manage it, related what had happened. When she had finished, Nina was furious.
“That rotten bastard! That miserable deceiver, to give you no indication of his true motives, to deliberately let you think—”
“He said he assumed I understood.”
“That’s a lie and you know it, Alex—and don’t you even think about trying to defend him.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Good, because—” Nina broke off when she finally realized that she was doing all the yelling and Alexandra wasn’t doing any. “Why aren’t you angry?”
“I suppose I am.”
The lackluster answer had Nina rolling her eyes. “You don’t sound it. You don’t even sound upset. In fact, you sound no different from when you left here.”
“I’m still adjusting to the fact that Christopher isn’t the man I thought he was.” And then Alexandra frowned thoughtfully. “But you’re right, I should be more upset about this than I am, shouldn’t I? After all, I’ve loved him for so long—”
Nina’s snort announced her opinion on that, yet she responded, “You say that from habit only.”
“Nina—” Alexandra began defensively, but that, too, was out of habit, and her friend wasn’t going to let her trot out the same old, lame excuses this time.
“I’m telling you, you didn’t love him!” Nina interrupted hotly. “Not then and not now. I’ve always said it, but now you’re going to believe it.” Then she said, less severely, “You wanted him when you met him, but you were young and romantic then, and you needed a name for what you were feeling, so you called it love.”
“And all these years—”
