Page 66 of Sword & Shadow
“No, it wasn’t,” Thom argued. “You could have chosen any number of men. You could have—shouldhave—chosen me.”
The flat gaze Hewitt gave him then showed equal parts repudiation and, shockingly, pity. He took several seconds before saying, “You weren’t the one she wanted.”
Thom couldn’t accept that. Not when it didn’t make any sense. She trusted Thom more than she did Deckard. It was plain for everyone with eyes to see. She spent her days in Thom’s company, sought him out at every opportunity, and readily took him into her confidence. It wasn’t her fault that her uncle had chosen the wrong man. Nor was it Thom’s.
There had been a moment on their journey to Loclight that granted Thom one last flare of foolish hope. Evylin had unintentionally revealed that her marriage to Deckard had yet to be consummated, that the union could still be dissolved. And for weeks after, Thom’s hopes were renewed. He was determined to win Evylin’s heart and convince her to break free of his brother.
But then Evylin and Deckard returned from that damn Annaltide party at the palace, twisted up in one another’s arms, locked in a kiss that inevitably set flames to the future he’d been planning. She might not have been Deckard’s in full before, but she sure as hell was now.
And what could Thom do? He couldn’t just scratch out his feelings like a line on paper. Even if he tried, they’d still be there, inked into his soul, forever stained.
“You weren’t the one she wanted.”
How true that proved to be today. And how insignificant it made him feel.
Deckard and Evylin returned to camp while the rest of them finished their meals. To Thom’s surprise, the couple walked with a telling distance between them. He might have soothed her pain, but the damage of Hewitt’s death still kept them apart.
No one asked where they’d been or if Evylin was all right. Only Ethenn was aware that anything was wrong, having been with Deckard when Rafferty found him. And the boy was smart enough not to bring attention to it.
Now, Evylin sat at the base of a boulder near the back of the camp, staring apathetically into the bowl of food she held. Rafferty had enlightened Thom to the situation on their walk back to camp. He’d told him how Evylin had kept the Day Relic since they’d left the Night Keep and that it must have been the reason she’d been so chipper for the near-fortnight. Then Rafferty explained how Deckard had pulled him aside last night and stood there like a disappointed parent as he made Evylin return the Relic.
Turning his gaze from Evylin’s huddled form, Thom glared at his brother across the dim campfire embers. Deckard’s shoulders were rigid as he slowly ate his meal and talked quietly with Auden. While the two men discussed the politics and cultures of Wauld, Rafferty had Ethenn and Ilain laughing. All of them acted as though nothing was amiss.
Thom was too annoyed to join in on the revelry. He wanted to sit with Evylin and ask why she didn’t tell him about the Relic and promise he’d help her get it back if she’d like. He wanted to promise that he’d do anything—absolutely anything on Terraeus—if it would make her happy.
But Thom couldn’t make her happy. She’d made that clear an hour ago.
Deckard rose from his seat and checked on Evylin. Their conversation was short and obviously tense. He came away carrying her still mostly full bowl. After offering the leftovers to Ethenn, he cleaned both his and Evylin’s bowls and then took them to the packs by the horses.
Quickly, Thom got up to follow him. Perhaps he couldn’t comfort Evylin, but he could see to it that she wasn’t left so dejected.
He approached his brother casually, calling his name under his breath. Deckard looked up from the pack. He finished tying off the laces before standing to meet Thom’s gaze.
“Could I talk with you for a moment?” Thom asked. “Privately.”
Deckard hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at the others. “All right.”
They walked a handful of paces out of the camp, though keeping it still in sight. They’d have to speak in low voices to ensure they weren’t overheard, which wasn’t preferable, but hopefully, the conversation wouldn’t escalate.
Thom nearly scoffed at the thought. Of course, it would escalate. What serious conversation of theirs didn’t?
Settling his stance, Thom did his best to approach the discussion like a fellow soldier rather than a brother. “Rafferty explained everything to me,” he began, “about the Day Relic.”
Deckard pressed his lips together around a sigh. “I told him to keep it quiet.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want Evylin to feel ashamed.”
“What does she have to be ashamed of? She’s grieving.”
Deckard gave him a disappointed frown. “Yes, she’s grieving. But if everyone knew that she’d anesthetized herself, they might begin to treat her differently. That won’t help her heal.”
“And will this?” Thom demanded.
His brother’s brow furrowed.
Thom motioned back toward the camp, where Evylin sat isolated from the rest of the troop. “How isthishelping her?”
