Page 61 of Sword & Shadow
Hewitt was gone.
Gone.
Just like Ryen.
Evylin sat hunched in her saddle, attempting to keep a grip on her sanity. One day. She just had to make it through this day. If she could prove that she could bear the weight of this grief, she could have the Relic back, and she’d be free of the pain for good.
Or however long it’d be until she had to give it to the Alliance. But she’d be recovered by then. Surely, in the time it took for their troop to finish their task, she would have processed through her grief.
One day.
The words were a mantra in Evylin’s head.
One day.
Only one day.
A fierce wind tore across the road, ripping her hood back and tossing the misting rain into her face. Evylin flinched, shivers coursing over her.
“Are you all right?” Deckard asked, riding at her side. He’d been beside her constantly since she’d given the Relic to Rafferty, keeping an eye on her, she knew. She couldn’t tell if his watchfulness was so he’d be there if she needed comfort or simply to watch and see if she’d crumble.
Replacing her hood, Evylin refused to let him see her struggle. “I’m fine,” she said, though her voice sounded frail to her own ears.
“Evie—”
“I’mfine,” she repeated, stronger this time.
Deckard watched her but said no more.
His attentive presence was suffocating. Why couldn’t he leave her alone? She wouldn’t have to work so hard to pretend without him watching her every move.
But Evylin knew why he stayed at her side. He’d explained it to her last night as they lay next to the embers of the dying campfire.“Don’t do this alone, Evylin,”he’d said.“This is going to be hard, I know. But you don’t have to do it alone.”
She’d tucked her head under his chin, burrowing into his warmth for the night. The full effects of the Relic hadn’t worn off quite yet in those late-night hours, keeping her comfortablewith him. Even if they had, due to the cold and the need to prove herself stable, she wouldn’t have been able to abandon his arms.
Today, Deckard’s constant presence was meant to remove any impediment between her need for help and her fear of asking for it. But she couldn’t find it within herself to be grateful.
Evylin stared at the road ahead, focusing on her breath. Perhaps if she could regulate each inhale and exhale, she could fool her heart into believing that it wasn’t aching. She closed her eyes, attempting to distract herself. Instead, her mind conjured the brutal image of Hewitt’s face, sunken and blue from death.
Her eyes flew open.
The hours crept on at an unbearable trickle of time. Unshed tears stung, burgeoning on her lashes. Her throat burned with unspent emotion. Her body spasmed with the need for relief. Evylin needed a break from the never-ending road. She needed to be free of Deckard’s hovering attention. And yet, they plodded along at a slow, steady pace.
By the time they finally stopped to make camp, Evylin was ready to run for the trees and hide. She wanted to crawl beneath a thicket of bushes and lose herself to the pain within her. But she feared that if she began to cry, she’d never stop.
“Only six more days,” Ilain announced as they dismounted. “Then we’ll be at the Wind Keep.”
Rafferty hopped up from hobbling his horse. “Only six days, eh?” he said sardonically. “I’ve been soaked to the bone for nearly two weeks. I’m not sure I can last six more days.”
“I’ll say a prayer for your endurance,” Ilain mocked.
Feeling somewhat mollified to hear that Evylin wasn’t the only one struggling, she grabbed hold of the one sprig of hope within her. “Perhaps some sparring will ease the monotony,” she suggested.
Rafferty’s gray eyes scanned her thoughtfully for a mere second. He was checking on her, just as Deckard had donethe whole day. Thankfully, only the two of them knew of her situation. But she was tired of being treated with caution.
“Yeah, that could do the trick,” the weasel agreed. “Thommy, Loxley, Colonel, you in?”
“We’re low on meat,” Ethenn said. “I should do some hunting while it’s still light.”
