Page 209 of Sword & Shadow
“Maybe you don’t know what I want,” she shot back.
His steely gaze landed heavily on her. “I know you better than you know yourself.”
Evylin didn’t bother denying it.
“Why would you leave him?”
“I can’t be with him,” she said flatly.
“Youcan. Legally, you are. Emotionally... That’s left to be seen.”
“Did you come back simply to verbally spar with me?”
“As I can’t physically spar with you, what better way to spend my time?”
A sudden, unexpectedly joyful laugh erupted from Evylin. The tears returned as she stared up at his face, tracing the familiar lines. “I miss you,” she said.
His expression softened. “And I miss you, my girl.”
Evylin’s heart pricked. It was cruel, seeing him and being unable to touch him. She would give the breath from her lungs and the blood from her veins for only one more chance to hug him, to feel the warmth of his embrace.
“Do you love him?” Hewitt asked.
Her throat burned. “No.”
His stare bored into her knowingly.
“I can’t,” she corrected.
“Why not?”
“Because,” she gasped, unable to finish the explanation.
“Evylin,” he stepped closer, “tell me.”
“I—” She shook her head, pulling away. “I just can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You already do.”
“I don’t.”
“The truth, Evylin.”
“Ican’t!”
“Why?”
“Because of you!” she exclaimed, her voice breaking, the tears falling in earnest. “Because of Ryen. Because if I lovehim, then the day will come when I have to go through this heartache a third time. And I can’t do it again.”
Evylin backed away, tugging at her rings. Her chest ached as her tears fell to the forest floor. “I can’t love him only to lose him too.”
Hewitt didn’t even flinch. He watched her in that steady, sure way of his, and she realized he already knew her reasons. “Oh, Evie,” he whispered. “My dear girl, I’m so sorry.”
His hand lifted before dropping back to his side, unable to comfort her.
It was too much for Evylin. A sob shook her, every part of her exhausted. “I can’t do this again,” she repeated. “I can’t take how much it hurts.”
“Evylin,” he said gently, “you need to listen to me. Take a breath.”
