Page 181 of Sword & Shadow
Ilain sighed dramatically. “Such is my lot. But then, I would say the same of you, and you found Jonn, so perhaps there’s hope for me yet.”
The return to Deckard lodged a lump in Evylin’s throat. Her reaction agitated her even more than Ilain’s incessant need to bring him up. “It’s not like that between us, Ilain,” she said firmly. “I know you weren’t there, but—”
“But you told the others that you and Jonn married for convenience,” Ilain said, completing the recounting for her.
Evylin gaped at her. “How did you—?”
“Auden left me a note.”
“Oh.”
“Mm-hm. I’m aware of your nonsensical fabrication,” she said with a hint of irritation. “And I understand that you’re grieving. What I’m confused by is your seeming ignorance of how deeply you two love one another.”
“We don’t—” Evylin interrupted herself this time. She took a stuttering breath, her body trembling in the cold breeze of the night. “It isn’t like that.”
“It is,” Ilain said flatly. “Why deny it?”
“I don’t love him,” Evylin whispered vehemently.
“Of course, you do. We can all see it.”
“I don’t.”
“You can’t convince me of that,” Ilain hissed sharply.
Evylin whirled to face her. “I asked Jonn for an annulment,” she admitted. “Do you believe me now?”
Ilain stared at her, emotionless. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t think I understood you.”
Evylin held her steady glare. “I think you did.”
The woman’s mouth dropped open. “Why would you do that? Hold on.” She held up a hand. “Canyou do that? I’m not familiar with Ephrian laws, but in Wauld, an annulment is only possible if the marriage isn’t consummated.”
“It’s the same in Ephria.”
Ilain’s face contorted in bafflement. “You haven’t—?”
“No.”
“Well,” Ilain sat back, staring into the night wide-eyed, “put me on a mountain and call me a nanny. I could have sworn...” She blew out a bemused breath and turned back to Evylin. “Regardless, why would you want to annul your marriage?”
Evylin drew her knees tighter to her chest. “Because I have to.”
“Nonsense. There are only two reasons that would be necessary. First, if he were a deplorable wretch. And as this is Colonel Jonn Deckard we’re discussing, that’s out of the question. Second would be if you didn’t love him.”
She raised her hand when Evylin began to protest. “You’re lying to the wrong person, Evylin.”
“Why won’t you believe me?” Evylin asked, incredulous.
Ilain wore a firm, perturbed expression. “I am forty-three,” she whispered sharply. “I have spent my entire life preparing to help lead a rebellion to success and to take my place in its government afterward. Throughout all that time, I have waited, hoping to find a Warrior who loves me and whom I love in return.”
Ilain’s fingers curled around her skirt as she leaned closer to Evylin. “I’m looking for one in more than a million,” she said.“And by some miracle, you found that. You found your perfect match, a man who’s caring, devoted, loving, and a bloody Mage. It’s as though he were designed for you. So don’t you dare tell me you don’t love him. Because you two are the only hope I have left.”
A halting breath slipped out of Evylin. She didn’t know what to say. A part of her latched onto Ilain’s words, heartened by the thought of Deckard being her one-in-a-million match. The other part recoiled, shrinking back like a startled wolf, creeping back into its dark den.
Evylin felt sympathy for Ilain. Their predicament was similar, yes. Yet, it was drastically different in so many other ways.
“I’m sorry,” Evylin said, her words entirely genuine. “But you don’t understand.”
