Page 180 of Sword & Shadow
Over time, she found herself worrying at the ring out of habit. Checking to ensure its placement on her finger gave her the strangest sense of comfort. It was as though the mere thought of Deckard’s ring could soothe her.
Evylin sucked in her bottom lip. The firelight caught in the onyx stones, glimmering in the facets with a variegated shine. She’d often wondered why Deckard chose it. Most Whickam Village men couldn’t afford such fancy rings, procuring the simpler, etched rings from Hewitt or other smiths. The more affluent men in Trollenston bought their fiancées finer rings, like this one, but they always bore bright, sparkling gemstones, like the ones Ilain wore. Evylin never thought she’d want something so gaudy, knowing it would get in the way of her swordplay. But this ring...
“It felt right,”Deckard had said.
How? He’d known her for mere days when he’d purchased it. They hardly knew how to carry on a conversation. Yet, he’d chosen this elegant, resplendent ring that had proven no more an impediment to her swordplay than Hewitt’s. Somehow,Deckard had found the perfect ring based solely on an inner knowing.
Evylin’s fingers tightened on the ring, a sudden worry fixed in her mind. She’d asked for an annulment. Their marriage would be dissolved, and this ring would hold no more meaning. Would he expect her to return it? Her heart raced at the thought. She didn’t want to give it back. It would make her decision too real, too final.
“Ilain,” Evylin whispered without thought.
Beside her, Ilain shifted. “Yes?”
Desperate for some distraction from her thoughts, Evylin turned to the woman. She seized the first topic that came to mind. “If Bonding is so important to you, why haven’t you? Bonded with someone, I mean.”
Ilain gave her a wry grin, raspy voice nearly silent in the night. “There are many reasons. Most importantly, I haven’t found the right man.”
“But you said that it wouldn’t matter whom you Bonded with.” Evylin drew her knees up, embracing her legs. “That the magic would make you fall in love with him.”
Ilain gave a thin chuckle. “Makeis a violent word. No, it doesn’tmakeyou love each other. Bonding is a connection of souls. You fall in love with your partner because you understand them in the deepest, most intimate way. You feel what they feel. And when you’re that intricately tied to someone else, you can’t help but love them.”
“Oh,” Evylin breathed.
Ilain smiled. “It’s wise to be selective in choosing such a partner. Just because you share a connected soul doesn’t mean you change as an individual. You are still you, and he is still him. Personality differences, internal struggles, insecurities, temperaments, and beliefs—these things don’t change. And likea marriage, you want to be sure you can live happily with the one you love.”
“I see,” Evylin said, and she did. It was one of the many reasons she hadn’t married a man from the village or town years ago. Her personality and her desires didn’t match those of the men she knew. And she could never be happy in a stifled life.
“I’m lucky, though,” Ilain said, “being a woman. Men are more prevalent in magic. I believe I mentioned that to you? And that makes me a commodity. While they all vie for my attention, I have my pick.”
“That doesn’t make you feel like a prize to be won?”
“Why, Evylin,” Ilain set a hand to her chest with a mocking flair, “Iama prize. Any man who isn’t willing to fight for my heart isn’t worth my time.”
Evylin couldn’t help smiling. “Ah, yes. You have a heart deserving of warfare.”
They shared a soft, low laugh.
“Does Jonn make you feel that way?” Ilain asked, her gaze alight with unexpected eagerness. “Does he make you feel prized? As though he would fight an entire nation to win your heart?”
Smile gone, Evylin averted her gaze. She stared into the fire, telling herself the smoke was what caused her vision to blur. “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, he does.”
“I thought so,” Ilain said. “He’s always so aware of you. It’s as though you give him purpose.”
Evylin didn’t like the turn of the conversation. She’d spoken to Ilain to avoid thinking of her husband, not to dwell upon his bountiful merits.
Clearing her throat quietly, Evylin attempted to deflect. “I have to say,” she quipped lightly, “there is another man who made me feel even more sought after.”
Ilain’s nose wrinkled. “Truly?”
“Mm. No man’s attention could hope to match that of Prince Ephren’s.”
Ilain snorted. “Caspar?”
Evylin’s gaze snapped to hers. “You know the crown prince of Ephria by name?”
“Oh, indeed,” she said, surveying her glittering rings haughtily. “He didn’t take much to me, though. I think I made him nervous.”
“I think you make most men nervous.”
