Page 142 of Sword & Shadow
“I think your aunt missed the point of the story,” Ilain remarked.
“Oh?”
Ilain twisted one of her jeweled rings thoughtfully. “It wasn’t about true love at all. It was about loss. If the heroine could have let her first love go—if she had released his ghost and let him rest—perhaps she would have had a happy life with the Mage who lived and loved her in the present. Instead, she held on and let the past kill her.”
Evylin’s throat was suddenly dry. Ilain’s analysis was too astute, too revealing. The woman couldn’t know. She’d been asleep during Evylin’s outburst decrying her marriage to Deckard. None of them had spoken of it. And none of them knew why Evylin had chosen to push him away.
Refusing to accept the lesson in Ilain’s words, Evylin defaulted to the one comfort she still possessed. “I never was much for literary symbolism,” she said lightheartedly. “I always preferred sword fights and daring escapes.”
“Such a Warrior thing to say,” Ilain noted jokingly, though a glint of knowing sparkled in her eyes.
Ready to be out from under the highlady’s inspection, Evylin suggested they get their rest. They agreed to stand watch in pairs, the men together during the first period and the women during the second. She and Ilain stretched out under their shelter-half while the men sat up under theirs. But Evylin’sattempt to escape the conversation failed to provide any comfort.
As she lay in the heather under the canvas of the tent, Evylin felt lonelier than ever. She wrapped her cloak around her like a blanket, trying not to miss the warmth of Deckard’s chest or the weight of his arms. Over the short months of their marriage, his presence became vital to her ability to sleep. She squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to ignore the startling emptiness beside her. Her mind whispered cruelly, reminding her of the sound of his heartbeat and the gentle circles he used to draw on her back.
A burning sensation filled Evylin’s chest. She gritted her teeth, barricading her heart against every pang of longing. Yet, the pain only grew. Her lungs spasmed. Once again, she found herself drowning in a well of tears.
Ilain’s words chastised Evylin harshly.“If she had released his ghost and let him rest—perhaps she would have had a happy life.”
Evylin tugged her hood farther over her head, burying her face in the heather. Ilain was wrong. There was no letting go. There was no happiness. Because love only brought pain.
15TH OF CHRONOS, 1574
Evylin woke, groggy and emotionally hollow, to join Ilain on the second watch. They remained in the small cluster of trees, the horses nickering softly in their sleep. With the men sleeping close by, the women didn’t bother to converse, making the seconds stretch into hours within hours. Evylin had no heart to speak anyway.
Finally, the sun rose, and they continued their journey.
In the daylight, Evylin had to agree with Ilain; the moors were far superior to the rest of Wauld. Though unvaried, the landscape stretched for miles with a quiet beauty. A gentle fog drifted in the distance, low enough that the western mountains could still be seen above its haze. The soft purple of calluna flowers dotted the ground, with patches of honey-yellow and ivory-white buds interspersed amidst the scrub.
Perhaps most superior of all, the sky above them was a light blue with only patches of clouds dotted overhead. Though Ilain warned them that it could still rain, she promised it would only be light, intermittent showers. The reprieve was a blessing after nearly a month of torrential downpours.
Traveling with a small group felt strange to Evylin. After so much time with such a large number, it was unusually easy to keep everyone engaged in the same conversation. They rode with natural comfort, talking and laughing readily. Ilain and Ethenn took the lead for most of the trek; she gave loose directions as he kept a keen eye on the horizon.
The winding Oulon River spread before them as Ilain predicted, and they stopped to fish. Ethenn and Thom made quick poles from branches they’d procured from the copse of trees they’d spent the night in, using the spare bowstring Ethenn brought for the fishing line. They planned to dry their catch for long-term preservation, ensuring a steady ration for the days ahead. Unsurprisingly, Ethenn caught the better part of their bounty, though Evylin did well herself.
“I didn’t know you fished,” Thom remarked as she drew in her fifth.
Evylin smiled but hesitated to reply. Keeping her attention on removing the hook they’d fashioned from random bits of metal scraped together from their supplies, she struggled for an answer. It was Hewitt who taught her to fish—her and Ryen.Together, she and her cousin spent much of their youth playing by the creek near Whickam Village. They pretended to be soldiers or pirates, fishing—often, fruitlessly—or basking in the sunshine while they made plans for the future.
Instead of explaining, Evylin handed Thom the fish and said, “There’s lots you don’t know about me.”
The day wore on as they moved at a steady pace. Though they didn’t make it across as many miles as usual, thanks to their fishing excursion, they stopped well before sunset, intent on a better night’s rest. They rode a mile off the road toward a small rise in the landscape. Though there was no tree coverage, once over the ridge, they were hidden from ready view.
After their arrival and preparation of the camp, setting up the shelter-halfs, and laying out the fish for filleting, Evylin wiped her hands on her trousers. “All right, Ethenn,” she said, turning to the young man. “You and I stayed together so that I could train you. So let’s get to training.”
“Wait,” Thom said, looking up from the fish. He motioned toward them with his knife. “We’ve got scaling to do.”
Evylin smirked. “And I’m sure you’ll do a lovely job.”
Thom’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. “You can’t take Ethenn. This is what the boy lives for!”
Ethenn scoffed. “I can assure you, it’s not.”
“You’re a hunter.”
“Doesn’t mean I enjoy the cleaning part.”
Ilain sat down next to Thom. “Don’t worry, dear,” she said placatingly. “I’ll help you.”
