Page 139 of Sword & Shadow
Seeing the eager obedience of the young man, Deckard hesitated. At first, he’d judged Ethenn’s stoicism and reserved demeanor to be due to youth or insecurity. Over the last three months, he’d begun to perceive the truth. He remembered Thom telling him once that Ethenn was like a long match. Once it burned up, it could become painfully dangerous.
Deckard had come to learn that Ethenn’s quietness wasn’t a lack of assertiveness or a display of self-doubt. It was a means of control, a way of keeping the fire inside safely contained. In reality, he was as fierce and passionate as the rest of them. He was simply better at hiding it.
“One last thing,” Deckard said, and set a hand on Ethenn’s shoulder. “Don’t lose control. Thom will test you. Evylin will push you. And Ilain...”
He paused, and Ethenn shifted uncomfortably.
Deckard let out a small scoff. He slapped Ethenn’s arm lightheartedly. “Well, she’ll be herself, which is a challenge for a manwithoutyour regard. Try not to let her get the best of you.”
“Sir, respectfully,” Ethenn straightened his shoulders, that hidden determination tightening his features, “I’m not a boy. You’ve given me a job. Trust me to do it.”
A smile worked across Deckard’s face. He felt oddly proud of the young man. “I do,” he said.
Auden joined them then. “Are we ready?” he asked.
“Nearly,” Deckard said. “Just let me say my goodbyes.”
“Of course,” Auden said. “I’ll come with you.”
Ethenn excused himself to store Evylin’s gift as they joined the others.
Deckard forced himself not to stare at his wife as they approached. He gave her a singular glance before addressing Thom and Rafferty. “It’s time for us to go,” he said.
Thom made the first move, stepping over to pull Deckard into an embrace. “Be careful,” he said, a tension in his voice that Deckard knew all too well. It was the same tone he used when apologizing after a fight. The same one that said he knew he was wrong, but he wasn’t sorry regardless.
Despite his suspicions of Thom’s motives, Deckard returned the hug. He loved his brother no matter the strain between them. “I will,” he said, then pulled away. “You do the same.”
Auden said a quick farewell to each of them before Ethenn arrived.
Rafferty sighed. “Farewell, kid,” he said to the hunter. “You’re about to have far more fun than I will.” He turned to Evylin and swept her into a hug. “Don’t forget me.”
Evylin chuckled. “Never.”
“Thommy,” Rafferty said with a salute to his friend, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”
“There won’t be much I can’t do then,” Thom replied with a slap on the weasel’s back.
Rafferty stopped and lifted a finger to point directly at Thom’s nose. “I’m not joking,” he said, with deadly seriousness. “Keep it in line.”
“All right,” Thom said, holding up his hands. “Geez, what’s wrong with you?”
Rafferty rolled his eyes, then smacked Thom lightly on the cheek. “I’ll miss you, you idiot,” he said, smirking.
Seeing the farewells coming to an end, Deckard gave Ethenn a nod. “Take care,” he said, then turned to Evylin.
Not one part of Deckard was ready for what he had to do next. He met Evylin’s dark eyes. She shifted from foot to foot, struggling to hold his gaze. Her arms were crossed, shielding herself. The uncertainty between them was palpable. How did he say goodbye to her? Nothing seemed right anymore. He longed to take her in his arms for one last embrace. He wanted to pleadwith her, begging her to reconsider. His whole being urged him to disregard all her words in the forest and kiss her for what might be the final time.
Deckard took a step closer.
Evylin flinched. “Have a good trip,” she said, lips turned up in a feigned smile.
An unamused chuckle escaped Deckard; even to him, the laugh sounded embittered. He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t good enough, wishing him well as if he were going on holiday. After everything, he deserved more than that from her.
Emboldened by her indifference, Deckard had nothing left to lose. He reached across the distance to cup her cheek. As his fingers brushed her warm skin, she tensed. He let himself give her a sad smile, showing how deeply her distrust hurt him. Her expression showed reluctance and even fear, but she didn’t pull away.
Deckard drew his finger along her jaw, across the rigid cuts left by Wind magic, and up to tuck the wild strands of hair behind her ear. Did he dare press his luck? The pad of his thumb grazed her cheekbone. Would he anger her if he stole a kiss? Did he care?
Retaining control of his senses, he let his hand fall away. Deckard stepped back. “Goodbye, Evylin,” he whispered.
