Page 135 of Sword & Shadow
“Are you blind?” Evylin blurted, tone fierce and angry. Her heart pounded in her ears, hysteria threatening her mind. Pressure built in her chest, desperate to find release. “It isn’t like that between us.”
“Evylin,” Deckard said her name like an admonition.
She wouldn’t look at him...couldn’t. She refused to be dissuaded, glaring at Auden as she sealed their fate. “Our marriage is convenience alone. I’m no moreconnectedto him than I am to you.”
The silence that met Evylin’s words was deafening.
The early morning light, however gray, was too bright, too revealing for the dark lies she’d spoken. A gentle breeze carried the rainy mist off to another part of the woods, leaving them to the consequences of her rejection. Evylin’s throat was raw, and her body felt empty. Had she really said those damning words?
Deckard spoke her name once more, strong and demanding. Her gaze snapped to his of its own volition. She sucked in an instant, choppy breath at the hurt she found there. Instead of the anger he had every right to feel, she saw only disappointment.
Evylin’s lips parted in a silent urge to tell him what she’d said wasn’t true. They did have a connection. A deep, vibrant connection that made her feel more alive than any adventure she’d ever dreamed of.
She clamped her mouth shut, enclosing those thoughts deep inside her chest. She couldn’t give voice to them, not when the world was cruel and would undoubtedly leave them in unending sorrow.
Painful seconds passed as the men scrutinized them. Evylin’s face flushed. Why had she made such a scene? Why couldn’t she have kept a level head? Now, they knew—they all knew that the marriage between Evylin and Deckard could legally be broken.
Deckard straightened his back, his expression going blank. A vein pulsed in his neck. “We need to talk,” he said in a frighteningly calm voice.
Tears threatened, but Evylin wouldn’t back down. She was close—so, so close—to being free of him, to breaking the hold he had on her. “Then talk,” she replied.
Deckard took in a deep breath, chest rising with tension. “You and I need to talk,” he clarified, “alone.”
Mouth dry, Evylin knew she couldn’t allow that. She couldn’t give him the chance to talk her out of this. Being alone with him, being close to him, being honest with him—his very presence could convince her. She couldn’t give in.
Evylin shook her head, desperate to remain with the others.
Thom shifted in his seat. “Jonn,” he said, sympathy in his tone, “if she doesn’t want—”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” Deckard snapped.
Thom glared at him as though he’d been struck by his words.
Deckard turned back to Evylin and took one long stride closer. “I have proven my patience to you time and again, Evylin,” he said, the words low and foreboding. “I’d advise you not to test its limits.”
The truth caused Evylin to hesitate. Deckardhadbeen exceedingly patient with her. His accommodation knew no bounds. Yet, the fierceness in his stare and the firm set of his jaw made it clear: This was no empty threat. If she didn’t go willingly, he would forcibly carry her into the woods to have this conversation.
“Fine,” Evylin said shakily, grasping onto whatever anger she could muster. “Let’s have your talk.”
Taking what little control remained to her in the situation, Evylin turned on her heel and marched into the morning fog. She heard Rafferty murmur something but couldn’t make it out past the pounding in her head. Her muscles trembled with fatigue and dread. Every step through the trees felt like a battle all its own. She was too tired for this fight. She wanted to lie down, close her eyes, and disappear.
Mud squelched under their feet. The gray fog enveloped them, golden beams of sunlight refracted through its haze. Droplets of water shone on the bushes and budding trees. Itsmystic beauty felt hostile to Evylin, mocking her as she made the most painful choice of her life.
She didn’t know how long they walked, but it wasn’t long enough before Deckard caught her arm. She whirled around to glare at him. Their breath came out in rapid, uneven bursts, frustration, disappointment, and hurt filling the air. Neither spoke as they stared at one another with the weight of her admission and lies between them.
Deckard opened his mouth to speak, then stopped. He shook his head and released her. Then began pacing the woods.
Evylin crossed her arms, struggling to maintain her conviction. “What did you want to discuss?” she asked, fighting to keep her words flat and emotionless.
Raking his hands through his hair, Deckard turned back to her. “Do you know what you’ve just done?”
Evylin shrugged, unwilling to accept his vague accusation.
“Evylin,” his voice was strained, “don’t you remember what I told you? If the Alliance finds out about the status of our marriage, they could dissolve it and make us Bond with whomever they want. And you just gave Auden the opportunity to ensure that.”
Instantly, regret and worry ate at her, but she refused to give in. “Maybe that’s what I want,” she said thinly.
Deckard’s eyes went wide. “You want to Bond with some other Mage?” he asked, the question breaking with his voice.
