Page 123 of Sword & Shadow
Not wanting to consider how inferior he was to his brother anymore, Thom pulled away from Evylin. “We should keep scouting,” he said.
At her nod, they moved on. They followed their route back west toward camp. But even as the light began to fade, Thom’s worries didn’t ease.
Whatever grief plagued Evylin, keeping her idle, Thom held no such impediment. He might not be special. He might never be deserving of people’s respect and admiration. He might resent his brother until his dying breath...
But he’d be damned if he didn’t keep Deckard from madness.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
13TH OF CHRONOS, 1574
All around their small camp, the team prepared to enter the Keep. The soldiers belted on their swords and affixed daggers to their persons. Ethenn strapped his quiver and bow across his back. An undercurrent of worry haunted their ranks. Each of them spoke in hushed, anxious tones.
Deckard felt this apprehension keenly, sure that he was the cause of it all. And why shouldn’t he be? Even after his work with Auden and Ilain, the thought of touching magic made him queasy. He didn’t want to experience the same jolt of power or feel the intense reaction it caused within him.
Over the past two days, the Calders took the time to teach Deckard how to connect with resources other than Night. Though Auden was attempting to teach him something called the Path of Vieran, a meditative manner of focusing on the resource, it wasn’t working well, as they were attempting to subvert his primary, and that was really the whole point of the meditation.
Ilain suggested they try a different approach, evidently disapproving of the Path. While she claimed she wasn’t bothered by Deckard’s dark magic, she did what she could to alleviate hisand Auden’s worries by teaching the principles of accessing the resources aside from your primary.
“There are two schools of thought amongst Mages,” Ilain said practically. “I subscribe to the first method: You should master all the resources at your disposal, granting you varied abilities.”
“And I agree with the second,” Auden added. “You should master your primary resource only, capturing its essence and harnessing the vastness of its power. Something impossible when you branch out into other resources.”
“Both are viable,” Ilain said, then smirked. “But mine is better.”
“That’s debatable,” Auden muttered.
“It is not.” She raised her brow and motioned to Deckard. “If I followed your example, I wouldn’t be able to help Jonn access magic other than Night.”
Deckard frowned at the two of them. “So Night is my primary resource, but I can ignore it?”
“Night ismost likelyyour primary,” Ilain corrected. “Regardless, there is a further hierarchy to the resources for every Mage. Fire is my primary, next comes Wind, then Water, and then Terrae. I’m horrible with Terrae. I can’t quite get the slow steadiness of growth down. I think I like to burn things too much.”
Without giving either man time to comment, Ilain continued, “In order to connect with other resources, you need to develop your relationship with them. We don’t have time to discover your hierarchy, but as Auden is especially connected to Day, we’ll focus on that.”
And though Deckard tried finding a relationship with Day magic, he found it immeasurably difficult, like grasping at the wind. To all of their chagrin, he managed one burst of dull, muddy-yellow light and nothing more.
“We could give him the Day Relic,” Ilain suggested when they determined the resource must be a low connection for Deckard. “That would help.”
Auden shook his head. “He’s too inexperienced,” he said, then turned to Deckard. “Magic takes energy as well as focus. You can have the strongest connection in the world, but if you overexert yourself, your magic will falter. The Relics give you focus and power, but they don’t give you energy. I fear putting it in your hands would burn you out too quickly.”
“How will I know if my magical energy is waning?” Deckard asked warily.
“The same way you know when you’ve worked too hard and need a night’s rest,” he said. “If you push yourself too far, your body will begin to shut down to preserve itself. And blacking out mid-fight is never ideal.”
After that lesson, Deckard felt even less prepared.
He couldn’t say he’d experienced any signs of exhaustion after their time in Dunneshead, but he hadn’t used magic for more than a quarter of an hour. Their time in the Keeps spanned at least eight times that length. Since he didn’t know what his threshold for exhaustion was, that led him and the Calders to agree that Deckard shouldn’t tap into his magic until absolutely necessary.
Now, as Deckard secured the last of his weapons—sliding a small dagger into his boot—his eyes drifted to the empty trees around them. He hadn’t summoned Hewitt’s ghost since he’d left for Dunneshead. Not only had he not had the chance to slip away to talk with the man, but he also didn’t know what he’d say when he did. How could he explain himself? How could he face the fact thathemight be the greatest danger to Evylin now?
Thom appeared at his side, a nervous expression on his face. “Could I, uh—” He tipped his head toward the horses at the edge of camp. “Could I talk to you?”
The request placed Deckard instantly on edge. The last time they’d spoken privately, they’d argued. Deckard knew it was partially his fault. His growing irritation toward his brother’s relationship with Evylin was causing animosity. An emotion he rigorously quelled, knowing it rose only from his insecurity about the fragile state of his marriage.
The brothers moved to the far side of the clearing. Thom shuffled his feet, eyes downcast as he spoke softly. “Look, I—” he began stiltedly. “I’m worried about you.” Deckard’s brows pinched together, but he let Thom continue, “With everything that’s happened, I—I’m concerned that this magic will hurt you.”
Studying his brother, Deckard chose to delay his response. Thom wasn’t generally bothered about his well-being. He never asked after him or showed signs of worry—unlesshe wanted something.
