Page 121 of Sword & Shadow
Thom frowned. Why was she so agitated withhim? He, too, was worried about Deckard. Why couldn’t she see that?
“Evie, for once in my life, I’m not talking as the jealous brother.” He set his hands upon her arms, hoping she’d see the truth in his eyes. He could feel his face contort as he dideverything possible to convey his fears. “I don’t want to lose him.”
Evylin flinched as though he’d slapped her. Her muscles tensed under his grasp.
“I’m scared, Evylin,” Thom said, the words a frightened whisper. He felt so much like a youth again, watching his brother walk away from Stocburrough—from him—without ever glancing back. “What if this magic destroys him from the inside out? I don’t want to watch my brother descend into madness. For all my resentment of him...I love him.”
She just stared at him, chewing on her bottom lip.
“If this magic can turn Jonn into a murderer,” Thom said fiercely, “then we can’t lose him to it.”
Evylin pulled out of his grasp and pressed a hand to her forehead. “I know,” she murmured.
Thom could have dropped to the terrae and wept with relief to hear he wasn’t alone in this battle for his brother’s sanity. “What are we going to do?” he asked.
“There isn’t anything we can do,” she returned, letting down his hopes. “Auden and Ilain are helping him get control of it. That’s the solution, isn’t it?”
“Is it?” Thom doubted it could be so simple. “If he’s a Night Mage, doesn’t that mean he’ll spend his whole life connecting with that resource more and more, getting closer and closer to insanity?”
“Ilain said that—”
“I know what she said,” he interrupted. “And sure, maybe some Night Mages can handle their powers, but, Evie, this isJonn. He killed twelve people—”
“Thirteen.”
Thom gaped at her.
Evylin sighed. “Ethenn must have miscounted, or he just estimated. It was thirteen, including the woman.”
Including the woman.
Deckard would never harm a woman. His scruples wouldn’t allow it, even if she threatened his life.
Though in this case, it wasn’t Deckard’s life she’d threatened... It was Evylin’s. And Deckard would do anything—absolutely anything—for Evylin.
“That’s far worse,” Thom said, the full understanding of their situation coming to light.
She shrugged. “In all our travels, I’ve killed that many and more by now.”
“Have you counted every life you’ve taken?”
“No.”
“He has.”
“I know.”
Thom ran his fingers through his hair. “Don’t you understand how that will affect him? If Night magic can make him that merciless in the moment, he will crumble when he comes out from under its hold. You heard what he said: It controlled him. It overrode his judgment, turning him into a cold-blooded killer. Jonn can’t live with that.”
Evylin began to tug on her wedding rings but didn’t speak.
“Even if this ‘Deep’ doesn’t take over,” Thom concluded, “he will go mad simply to protect himself from the pain of knowing what the magic made him do.”
She tightened her jaw, eyes dropping to the ground.
“There couldn’t be a worse person to become a Night Mage.”
Evylin tossed her hands to the side, exasperated. “What do you want me to do about it?” she demanded, the words coming out shaky. Tears glistened at the corners of her eyes. “I’m still grieving, Thom. I’m barely holding on, and now—”
