Page 167 of Sword & Shadow
“Rafferty.” Deckard’s prompting took on a hostile tone.
The man tipped his chin up. “So you do know?”
“Just tell me what Thom has told you.”
“Thom said he’s in love with Evylin.”
The candid delivery sparked a blaze hotter than the sun within Deckard’s chest. His teeth clenched, and he glared into the forest as though he would see his brother standing there, guilty as charged. Instead, his eyes landed on Hewitt, the ghost returning his glare with a fury that matched his own.
Deckard turned back to Rafferty, enraged. “Does he plan to tell her?” he demanded.
Rafferty lifted his hands placatingly. “I don’t know.”
“He’s my brother,” Deckard spat. “She’s my wife!”
“Well, yeah,” Rafferty replied flippantly. “He knows that.”
“Then why would he—?”
“Why are you asking me?” Rafferty interrupted. “Look, I’m not here to defend him. He’s an ass. I’ve told him that. The thing is: He admits it too. He hasn’t said anything because he knows how you feel about her, and because... Well, he thought you two had—” He made a crude hand gesture, then shrugged.
Regret after regret filled Deckard’s mind. He’d known. The whole time, ever since Hewitt’s arrangement in WhickamVillage, Deckard had suspected his brother’s interest. Thom had spent hours trying to convince Deckard not to marry Evylin. He’d begged him, saying that he didn’t want Deckard throwing his life away on a woman he’d just met. Even then, Deckard knew the words rang false, the arguments a lie.
Why hadn’t Thom told him outright? If he’d had feelings for Evylin, why hadn’t he spoken up? Why not ask to marry Evylin himself? Thom had to know that if he’d asked, Deckard would have waited to make the agreement. If Deckard had known of his brother’s feelings, he would have hesitated.
So why hadn’t Thom been honest?
The answer came to Deckard with something awfully close to shame.
Regardless of Thom’s feelings, Deckard would have married Evylin anyway. Despite the short three days of their acquaintance, his infatuation had grown too deep to give her over to his brother. Perhaps he could have relinquished her to another man, one who would take her away, where Deckard would never see her again. But to allow his brother to marry the woman he’d already begun to feel affection for? That would have been too much.
Thom would have known the choice he would make. He didn’t speak up because he knew that Deckard wouldn’t be selfless enough to let her go.
Suddenly, Deckard remembered all the occasions Thom had advised him during their travels. Despite his feelings, Thom had encouraged Deckard to invest in his marriage, to befriend Evylin, and to try to fall in love with her. However inappropriate Thom’s feelings were, he’d not acted on them. Instead, he’d done what he could to support his brother in spite of them.
For the first time, Deckard questioned ifhewas at fault for this misunderstanding. He’d suspected Thom’s interest in Evylin, but he hadn’t pressed for the truth because he knew ifthere was a woman between them, the right thing to do would be for both of them to walk away. Since he didn’t want to walk away from Evylin, he never asked.
Deckard had used excuse after excuse to justify their marriage. He needed Hewitt to help fulfill his volunteer quota. He wanted to help Evylin achieve her dreams. It was the only way to save his career. It was the right thing to do. Only after their marriage had he been honest with himself: He’d married her because he wanted her.
Evylin Glaas, the village girl with a quick wit, a ready smile, and a deep desire for more from the world, was the first woman he’d ever truly believed could be enough. And he wasn’t willing to let such a chance slip through his fingers.
“I did know,” Deckard admitted. “I just didn’t want to believe it.”
Hewitt stood in the trees, glaring at him. “And now,” he said in a growl, “heknows that your marriage is legally breakable.”
Deckard raised his chin, the sharp tingle of worry trickling down his spine. He turned back to Rafferty. “I’ve sent him away with her. Thom knows that our marriage isn’t legitimate, and I’ve given him the perfect opportunity to make his feelings known.”
Rafferty gave him a wry stare. “Why do you think I told him not to do anything I wouldn’t?”
Deckard lifted his brow. “Says the man who doesn’t believe in monogamous relationships.”
“Hey!” Rafferty pointed at his chest. “I may be a scoundrel, but even I wouldn’t boff my brother’s wife.”
The thought sent anger, fear, and heartache through Deckard’s chest.
“Besides,” Rafferty waved his hand, “Evie wouldn’t go for it.”
“You aren’t my brother.”
