Page 33 of Empress of Ruin
“Lyra,” Killian starts. It takes every bit of my strength to remain in place rather than crumple to a heap on the floor or sprint out of here. Only the knowledge that he’d chase me, catch me, and punish me beyond the bounds of my endurance keeps me frozen in place.
“Your travels in the last months have taught me something essential; I cannot be without you.” His voice is loud enough to be heard all around the ballroom, which promptly falls entirely silent. You could hear a pin drop in the stillness. “While I’m glad you got to see the world and pursue your passions, I don’t think I could let you go again. I want to be the man you travel with, trust, and seek solace with. I won’t be able to go on another day without knowing you’re irrevocably mine.”
Tears swim in my eyes. This is wrong. This is all so,sowrong. I’d kill to hear a speech like this… from anyone who isn’t Killian King. My god, these words from a man who truly loved me, not just one who seeks to possess me, would exhilarate me. They’d make me happy beyond belief.
This…farcemakes me miserable beyond comprehension.
“Will you do me the greatest honor of my life and marry me? Join our names, our families, ourlives.”
I’m silent. The tears slowly drip down my face, smudging the mascara I threw on. My hand rises to cover my mouth, and I try desperately to play the part of the fiancée so happy she’s in tears rather than the trapped woman who’s crying from horror.
“Little Bird.” Killian’s voice has an edge now. “Please.” His tone is lower on his plea, and it conveys a dark threat.
“Y—” my voice cracks over my first attempt.Endure, Lyra. Get it over with.
Except endurance isn’t enough; I have to come to terms with it. Live with it. Until I find a way out, this is my lot. One public spectacle after another. Being a trophy. Being fuckingbreeding stock.
“Yes,” I sob.
The crowd erupts into whoops and cheers. Killian stands, slides the ring onto my finger, and takes me into his arms. I cry into his tuxedo, almost grateful that he’s inadvertently shielding my public meltdown.
I have to find a way out. I have to crawl out of my depression and start plotting, because I can’t live like this. I can’t live with him. I can never,everbe his.
Death would be the preferable option.
We leave the gala after receiving congratulations from countless people, none of whom I know or recognize. My meltdown drained me of all strength—when the car pulls up to Killian’s apartment, I can barely move.
So, playing the part of a dutiful fiancée, he carries me into the building. Cradles me to his chest during the elevator ride. Keeps a tight hold on me as he steps over the threshold.
My god, in another life, I might truly be the blushing bride-to-be. I might be thrilled, excited, flattered beyond words.
Right now, I’m just shocked beyond words. I can’t believe the depths of Killian’s cruelty. I don’t understand how he could do this to me.
Easily. His world revolves around his wants, needs, and plans. He might pretend that I’m a consideration—he might even convince himself of it—buthewill always come first.
He sets me down on his bed, and slips off one of my shoes. Then the other. Then stands me up, turns me around, and unzips my dress.
I stare at the engagement ring in horror. It’s almost cruel in its beauty and uniqueness. It’s perfect for me, exactly to my tastes, and yet all I see is a life-sentence it represents.
“Deep breaths, Little Bird.” Killian’s tone is soft. “I know that was a lot.”
A derisive laugh escapes me. “It wasn’t a lot, Killian. It was too fucking much.” I consider myself to be a fairly strong person with a high tolerance for bullshit, but that blew past my limits. I think I might be in some sort of shock.
“I know,” he acknowledges softly. “And you did so well. I’m proud of you, and I truly cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Why would youdothat?” My words come out as a mournful moan. “What have I ever done to deserve that? Why didn’t you at leastwarn me?”
“It wasn’t a punishment; it was a necessity.” He turns me back around and cups me cheeks. “If I’d warned you, would you have come?”
My silence is all the answer he requires.
“Precisely. I did what I had to—”
“You can’t always hide behind that excuse!” I snap. “It doesn’t work like that. You didn’t do what youhadto, Killian, you did what you fuckingwantedto, like always. It always comes down toyourwants,yourneeds, andyourplans. You don’tactuallythink of me.” A crazed, almost hysterical laugh escapes me. “You claim that I’ll always be first in your considerations—then you lock me in here and control everything about me, down to what Ieat. You pretend like you actually care about me, but all you do is hurt me and fuck me. You claim to desire afamilywith me, but you’re not fit to be a father!”
I pant after my sudden episode of word-vomit. Killian stares at me with a tight jaw and hard eyes. “Are you done?” he asks.
“No,” I snap.
