Page 68 of Empress of Ruin
“You’re the perfect age to become a mother. I need to secure an heir,andsecure your safety. Being engaged to me is one thing; carrying my heir affords you protection that never could.”
I swallow. We can come back to that another time.Do I want to go back to that?
Jesus, this is a mindfuck. All of it. It’s so goddamn surreal to have Killian King offering himself up as a proverbial lamb to the slaughter. Givingmepower overhim,when he’s always been the one to hold the power in our dynamic.
“Are you sure?” I’m still half-convinced this is some kind of trap. That he’ll laugh and sayjust kidding, before handcuffingmeto the bed and taking a video of me.
“Yes,” he says. “I’m sure. You need this. So.” He starts stripping out of his clothes. I pick up the phone and turn it over in my hands, opening it.Am I really about to do this?Can I do this? I’m not Killian. I don’t get off on getting blackmail on people.
But… this would balance the scales. It would give me what I need to at least tolerate being with Killian.
Tolerate? Youcraveit.
I really do hate that voice in my head.
When I find the courage to look back up, I see that Killian is stark naked, staring at me. What’s more surprising is that he’shard. When he knows I’m about to handcuff him and film him.
“Uh…” my cheeks burn. “How are you turned on?”
“I’m about to have sex with the woman of my dreams. I can’t be in a room with youwithoutbeing hard. Let me be the first to say, that’s extremely inconveniencing.”
“Oh.” I swallow, trying to ignore the way my mouth waters, and trying to keep my eyes on Killian’s. I have no idea where this sudden shyness is coming from; I’ve lost my modesty alongside my dignity during my time with him.
Did I, though?He’s always reiterated that dignity is a state of mind and a social construct, completely subject to interpretation.
It’s hard not to interpret being held a captive, spanked every day like an errant schoolgirl, and being treated like breeding stock as dignified.
Killian positions himself on the bed, near the headboard. I see lines of strain across his features. I’m sure every instinct of his is screaming not to go through with this, and he’s only doing it because he thinks it’ll help him with me.
And he’s right. This, as uncomfortable as it might be forboth of us, combined with his earlier apology, is showingastronomical progress and improvement. It’s impossible to disregard or ignore something of this magnitude.
“I’m not going to handcuff myself, you know,” Killian says idly.
“I… yeah.” I place a knee on the bed, but Killian stops me with a tut. “Hard to do anything when you’re fully dressed.”
Heat flashes through me. “Youwere fully dressed that night.”
His jaw tightens, but he gives me a terse nod. “I take your point. But if you want me to…beg,” he grits his teeth, “I’ll be a lot more convincing if you’re offering yourself up.”
I know this is just another one of his manipulations, but he does have a point. Carefully, self-consciously, I strip out of my own clothes, down to my bra and panties. I clutch the phone with a trembling hand, staring between it and Killian uncertainly.
“Go on,” he encourages. “Get your beautiful ass on the bed.”
I follow his instructions, all too used to doing so. Wondering what I should make him do for the video. That’s the thing—I won’t be able tomakeKillian do anything. I’ll have to be clever about how I approach this.
I straddle him and pick up one of his hands. He gazes up at me, eyes filled with equal parts hesitation and desire, and I’m once again reminded of how far out of his comfort zone he’s steppingfor me. Because he wants me,everypart of me,thatmuch.
It’s humbling to be so desired.
I lock one of his hands into the cuffs, then the other. The handcuffs feel a little light, but I don’t question them. Only once I’m done do I realize a critical missing element that makes alarm pinch my brows. “Where are the keys?”
“Don’t need them,” he responds. “I’ll be fine, as will you.”
I blink. “Killian,I need the keys to let you out.”
He smiles. “Perhaps.”
“What, are you planning on calling the fire department to let you out once we’re done?”
