Page 34 of Empress of Ruin
“Yes, you are,” he counters. “Now it’s my turn. Half of the people in that room tonight were plotting against me by plotting againstyou. I have gone to quite extreme lengths to shield you from them while you were off flitting around the world, hiding from the one man who could protect you. I have been trying for nearlyhalf a yearto contain the fallout of everything that happened.”
“Everything that only happenedbecause of you!” I screech. “Youblackmailed me.Youcoerced me.You made the sex tape that got leaked!” I’m so furious that tears of anger run down my cheeks. “You could’ve left me alone. Or asked me out… I don’t know…normally. You should’ve thought of my safety and wellbeingbeforeyou ruined my life! I wasrespected, Killian. I had pride, dignity, a good job, and a bright future. Now, I have…nothing.” A sob bubbles up my throat.
Killian looks away. For the first time since I’ve known him, he looks away, and something resembling regret passes through his expression. “I didn’t know I’d come to care for you,” he says after several long moments, staring at the wall. “I didn’t account for that variable.”
“Youdon’tcare for me,” I shoot back. “You’re not capable of it. All you’re capable of is setting goals and meeting them. You wanted me isolated and ruined?” I spread my hands. “You got your wish. You wanted me publicly humiliated? You’ve gotten it,multiple times over.”
“Idocare—”
“No you fucking don’t!”I shout. “If you did, your mission in life wouldn’t be knocking me up. We’d have conversations and an actual relationship instead of endless sex and stilted meals together.”
We pant angrily, each of us lost in our thoughts, glaring at each other. After several moments, Killian’s shoulders go lax. Regret doesn’t just touch his expression before flying away; it fills it.
“I’m sorry for tonight,” he finally says. “I suppose you deserved to be warned.”
Suppose.Suppose?Andthat’swhat he apologizes for, amidst all the things I just threw at him?
“Fuck you,” I hiss.
I wrench the engagement ring off my finger and throw it aside, disgusted with it. Killian watches it clunk across the floor, before his eyes meet mine. Slowly,veryslowly, he arches an eyebrow.
“You can’t even utter a decentapology.” I shake my head, baffled, even though I really shouldn’t be. Killian isn’t a man built for relationships—this much has been obvious to me for a long time. He doesn’t know how to communicate in any language aside from coercion and force. “You have many things to be sorry for, Killian, and tonight is frankly the absoluteleastof them. Some sincerity and honesty wouldn’t be amiss. Instead of issuing a half-assedI’m sorry, why don’t you tell me why you decided to put in that position? What wouldeitherof uspossiblyhave to gain from it?”
“There were people in that room that needed to see me publicly claim you,” Killian says tersely, working his jaw. “That’s all I’ll say on the matter.”
Thenerveof this asshole. I can scarcely believe it. “Then here’s all I’ll say in the matter; I’m not marrying you,ever. I’m not putting on that ring,ever. I’m going to find a way to get on birth control, because reproducing with you sounds like the end of a horror novel with no HEA. And I’m sleeping in a guest bedroom.”
I bypass him, fully prepared to storm out, but he bands an arm around my waist.
“Are you done?”
“No!” I snap.
“Yes, you are. Now it’s my turn. If you don’t wear that ring, I’ll fucking tattoo one onto your finger. If you try to take yourpretty little ass to another bedroom, I’m going to fuck it. And there is no world that exists in which I’ll allow you to get on birth control.”
Allow.Allow?“You don’t have a fucking say in the matter! My body, my choi—”
“Incorrect. This isn’t just your body, it is also mine. I have claimedalmostevery hole you have, licked every inch of you, and repeatedly made you mine. Iamgoing to put a baby inside you—you can fight it all you want, but I will. I don’t care if there has to be IVF involved to make it happen. It’s fucking happening. Now, hear me when I say that—beyond my personal desire to reproduce with you, which is no small thing—this is toprotect you.”
The urgency in the last two words gives me momentary pause. “How?”
“I’m a powerful man with a lot of enemies. I operate within some very dark circles. But there’s a code in my world, Lyra. Partners and children are strictly off-limits, and going after them is a death sentence. People are already asking questions because of your little stint away from me; tonight helped abate some of them. What will help much more is you wearing my ring and carrying my child. You better fucking believe that I’m going to make sure that’sexactlywhat happens, because I would rather burn this world to the ground than see you harmed.”
His angry breaths fan my ear, and his arm holds me so tightly it almost hurts. I frown, trying to connect the dots and put this puzzle together. Killian having enemies is a given—he’s a billionaire. But operating under some sort of code with certain peers of his sounds almost… organized.
“Are youmafia?” I demand.
He chuckles. “No, Little Bird. I’m something much, much worse. Don’t ask me what because I will not tell you. My corner of the world is, in some ways, far more ruthless than the mafia.”
“If you won’t tell me, then how can I trust you?” I ask, quieter.
There are many things he’s leaving unsaid, but there’s also a ring of truth to his words. Something’s afoot here that I don’t fully understand.
For the first time in what feels like an eternity, the investigative itch that used to live inside me returns. I want to acquire information, put the puzzle together, find thestory.But this time around, it’s not for an expose to leverage, it’s literally for my safety.
“You don’t have much of a choice, do you? I’ll never,everlet you go. You can either live with that in misery, or give me a chance—”
I cut him off with a cruel laugh. “Give you a chance to what, Killian? Fuck me when I’m telling you not to? Threaten to lock me up in the equivalent of a psych ward?What?”
