Page 22 of Empress of Ruin
“Go fuck yourself.”
He pockets his phone and gives me a look filled with warning. “Either you go upstairs and put on something sensible, or you can continue your ridiculous little tantrum andI’lltake you upstairs and redress you. After I’ve bent you my knee and reminded you why it’s you’re in your best interest to listen.”
“Youasshole,” I hiss.
“Calling me names is another way to get yourself punished.”
Goddamnhim. “This cat-and-mouse game is fuckingpointless,” I snap. “If you’re going to kill me, I’d prefer if you got it over withnow.”
“Killing you is the last thing on my agenda. On the contrary, Lyra, I am doing my very best toprotectyou, and you are making it extremely goddamn difficult to do so.”
“I don’t want your protection! I don’t wantyou!”
“You don’t know what you want.” He says it with such casual disregard, such absolutedismissalI want to scream. He’s treating me like… like an errant child throwing a tantrum.
Is that how I’m acting?
No, it’s not. It’snot. I’m being reasonable;he’sthe psychopath here.
I should really start calling him Psycho.
“You have two minutes to get changed.” Killian pulls his phone back out and gazes down at it. “If you fail, I’ll assume you want my help.”
“You can’t be seriou—”
“1 minute, 59 seconds,” he says casually.
I dart upstairs.
Crystal chandeliers dripping jewels, white tablecloths, oak walls and apianistplaying jazz in the corner… Killian understated just hownicethe restaurant is. As much as I hate how controlling he is, I’m glad Killian made me change. If he didn’t, I’d feel even more out of place that I already do, considering the cocktail dresses and dinner suits being worn by patrons.
As soon as we step inside, I want to turn around and leave. There’s a reason I tended towards rural villages and shithole towns during my time away; crowds make me nervous. Any one of these people could’ve seen the tape.Allof them might have. They might recognize me—and then what? I’ve stomached more than my share of public humiliation in my life; I don’t know how I’ll be able to deal with more of it.
Killian, sensing none of my turmoil—or just ignoring it—wraps an arm around my waist, leads me directly past the hostess stand, and straight to the back of the restaurant. He does a wonderful imitation of a gentleman by pulling out my seat for me, then takes a seat across from me, and opens the leatherbound menu.
I tilt my head forward, letting my hair curtain my face as I also open my menu, scanning the food options without really reading them.
My anxiety is a live, taut wire in my chest, setting my skin buzzing with phobia. I don’t want to be in this country. I don’t want to be with Killian. Icertainlydon’t want to be here—
But it doesn’t seem Killian has put even the faintest thought into mywants.
A waiter promptly arrives. Killian sits back and rattles off orders forboth of us—a ludicrous selection involving caviar, crepes, tea stands, and other items that I don’t bother listening to. I’m too busy being furious over his presumptuousness.
This is what my life’s going to be like as long as I’m with him. The realization isn’t groundbreaking, but it’s truly sinking in. He’ll control what I wear, what I eat, what I do, where I’m seen. That isifhe keeps me alive—which he actually seems to intend. I’m just not sure I trust his control.
Dear god, if I somehow get pregnant, what sort of life will my baby have? One where everything is predetermined and preordained? If it’s a boy, Killian will raise him to be an heir. And what if it’s a girl? Will she be raised like breeding stock, primed and prepared to be married off for a business arrangement?
“Penny for your thoughts?” It’s only then that I realize Killian’s staring at me, watching my silent horror unfurl.
I swallow. When I speak, my voice cracks over itself. “Nothing of interest.”
“Don’t be silly. Everything you are is of interest to me. Right now, for example, you have the mostinterestinglook of terror on your face. Anything in particular making you look that way?”
The thought of a life with you.
Killian’s gaze flits to the side. There, it hardens. I follow his line of sight, only to freeze.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no,no.She can’t be here. Shecan’t. Fate cannot possibly be that cruel.
