Page 55 of Doc Rock
“Iknowthat,”she snapped.“I fucking hate myself for it. And Iknowyou hate me. So what are you doing here? What are you trying to achieve, apart from making it worse for both of us? I’m alive. Me saying sorry will never be enough, so what the fuck do you want from me?”Sie’s chest heaved as she yelled at him.
“You don’tgetto shout at me.”Ford pointed his finger at her.
“What do you want me to do? You call me a meek mouse when I take your anger, and I’m not allowed to shout. What do you want from me, Ford?”
“I don’t know.” Ford deflated slightly.
Shit, what was he doing?
He kissed her.
He mocked her.
He shouted at her.
What the hell was he doing?
“You don’tknow? You come to my house, and you don’t evenknowwhat you want.”Sie stepped away from him.
“Sie I?—”
“Ford. I can’t change the past.”She reached up and brushed at a tear that had escaped from her eyes.
That small gesture stripped away more of his anger. He didn’t want to make her cry. He never wanted to make her cry.
“You ruined my life,”he murmured.
Sie let out a short laugh.“You give me, the memory of me, too much power. You are one of the most successful men on this planet. Your career reached the stratosphere. Do you really thinkyour life wasruined?”
Ford opened his mouth; his reflex was to tell her yes. Every bad thing that happened was due to her.
But was it?
Was she the one who picked up the bottle of whiskey and drained it dry?
Was she the one who forced the drugs onto him?
Or did he pick them up as a way to cope with his own unhappiness?
“I’m sorry,”she whispered.“I can say it a million times. But it means nothing unless you’re willing to believe me.”
“I—”Ford didn’tknowany more what he wanted to say.
He shoved his hands into his pockets to stop himself from grabbing her and pulling her into his arms.
He wished he hadn’t let his anger take him over.
He wished he was still kissing her.
Shit, he pulled his hands out of his pockets and raked his fingers through his hair.
He shouldn’t have come here. What was he thinking?
“I need to go.”Spinning around, he strode for the door. Grabbing the handle, he yanked it open.
When he walked away from her, he didn’t look back, just like she hadn’t looked back when she walked away from him.
Chapter 21
