Page 27 of Doc Rock
“No, you didn’t.”Her voice was flat.“I was the quiet kid with thick glasses and wild blonde curls. The girls you hung around with were all goth or emo, or whatever we called it twenty years ago. They all had straight black hair and too much eye makeup.”She ran a hand through her blonde curls and dropped her gaze from his.
Ford’s eyebrows pulled down in a frown.“No. That’s not right. I had never seen you before the day you auditioned for the band.”
Sie laughed dryly, and her eyes shot back up, pinning him.“No. Yousawme so many times. But you never actuallysawme. I wasn’t the type of girl you were interested in. So you looked right through me.”
No, that couldn’t be right. He wouldn’t have looked through her.It wasSie. He wouldknowher anywhere.
A small part of his mind whispered, had heknownher at the concert?
But his mouth said,“No.”
“Yes,” Sie replied.
Even as he denied it, he remembered the boy he was back then. So self-centred and oblivious to those around him.
Had he ignored her? Had she changed everything about herself so he wouldnoticeher?
“Shit,”he muttered under his breath, then said louder,“You changed everything for me?”
Sie shrugged.“I don’tknowanymore. For a long time, I thought I’d changed everything for you. But the reality is, I changed it for me. I was sick of being overlooked.”She laughed bitterly.“It turns out I didn’t like all those eyes on me either.”Her eyes filled with tears.
“You don’tgetto cry. You left me.”The bitter words slipped out before hecouldstop them.
He regretted them immediately as Sie dropped her head and blinked a few times, wiping at her eyes.
Chapter 11
Mai
Mai didn’t look up at him.“Iknow,”she whispered and wiped at her eyes to clear them of the tears sheknewshe had no right to shed. ”I was twenty-two, and I’d lost my parents. I was getting panic attacks. I ran. I’m not trying to pretend I did the right thing, and it wouldn’t be what I’d do now.”
“What would you do now?”Ford sounded strained.
Mai’s eyes rose, and met his. He stared back, straight into her soul. She blinked and willed the tears not to fall.
“I would have spoken to you. When I lost my mum and dad, my heart tore apart. I never told you, but before every concert, the only way Icouldstop myself from having a panic attack was to talk to Mum. And when I lost her, I couldn’t do it anymore.”
Ford’s face registered his shock.“I thoughtit wasa ritual. Speak to your mum, have a great show.”
“No, Ineededto talk to Mum, or I couldn’tgetonstage. The bigger our shows got, the worse it got.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”Ford ran his hand through his hair—a move she recognised. He was agitated and unsure what to say or do.
“I’ve thought about that a lot, I think maybe I didn’t want you to think less of me, toseea weakness.”
“What?” Ford sounded incredulous. “I loved you. We could have dealt with anything together.”
Mai sniffed, and the tears nearly spilt at his words.“All I can say is twenty-two-year-old me was a total fool. I should have spoken to you. Explained how I wasfeeling.”
“Instead, you ran.”Anger laced Ford’s words, and Mai flinched.
“I ran.”She squeezed her eyes closed so she didn’t have to look at the resentment on his face.
“What did you do?”he asked quietly.
Mai opened her eyes in surprise. She expected recriminations and accusations, not the bone-deep sadness ringing in his voice.
“I took a year off while I worked out what I wanted to do. I got into medical school, and I’ve been working ever since,”she said. Her whole life was about her work.
