Ava accepts this. She knows me—knows the clinician who processes everything through the lens of family systems and attachment theory. It's a plausible cover. It's also the truth, in the way that the best covers are always partially true.
We finish lunch. She hugs me at the door—longer than usual, tighter. The hug of a sister who can sense the distance and is trying to close it with her arms.
"Come to the dinner," she says. "Please. I need an ally."
"I'll think about it."
"That still means no."
"It means I'll think about it."
She walks away. I watch her go—my sister, Josiah's wife, a woman who has married into a family of locked doors and has chosen to love the doors rather than pick them. The opposite of what I've done. I'm picking every lock I can find.
My phone. I take it out. Read the texts again.
I'm thinking about your throat. About the bruise under that scarf you're wearing. Touch it for me.
Good girl.
I type a response. The first thing that comes to me—unfiltered, unclinical, the woman from the church and the choir loft and the café.
Where are you?
The reply is immediate.
Close.
I look up. Scan the street. The cars, the pedestrians, the Sunday-bright Monday that is indifferent to what's happening on my phone screen. I don't see him. I won't see him—he's better at this than I am, he's been doing it for weeks, and the surveillance hasn't stopped. It's just changed meaning. Before it was predation. Now it's—I don't have a word for what it is now. Possession, maybe. Vigilance. The continuous attention of a man who has claimed something and doesn't look away from what he claims.
You're watching me.
I'm always watching you.
I stand on Greenwich Avenue with my phone in my hand and the November cold on my face and the bruise pulsing under the scarf and I should be afraid. The clinician says I should be afraid. The woman who sat across from a client this morning and called this exact behaviorsurveillance designed to communicate access and control—that woman says I should be afraid.
I'm not afraid.
I'm standing on a busy street in daylight and a man is watching me from somewhere I can't see and the knowledge of his gaze on my skin feels like warmth. Like being held. Like the opposite of the loneliness that has been my constant companion for years, the cold apartment and the single wine glass and the locks checked twice and the books about damage read alone in bed.
He's watching. He's always watching. And the woman who should be afraid is standing in the November light with her hand on her throat and her pulse hammering and something on her face that isn't fear.
I put the phone away. Walk back to my office. See my afternoon clients. Do the work.
The scarf stays on all day. The bruise pulses underneath. And somewhere in the city—close, always close—Benedict Ambrose is watching, and I am letting him, and the letting has become the closest thing to peace I've felt in years.
***
Eight PM. Home. The apartment. The locks.
I open my laptop at the kitchen counter with a glass of wine I actually drink, and I type his name into the search bar.
Benedict Ambrose.
The results are sparse. Deliberately sparse—the digital footprint of a man who has been carefully managed. The Ambrose family appears in philanthropy circles, real estate records, the occasional society mention. Benedict specifically is almost invisible. A name attached to foundations and holding companies. No social media. No press photos. No personal details of any kind.
The absence is information. I know what it looks like when a narrative is being controlled—I see it in clients who curate their self-presentation with the precision of a marketing campaign. The Ambroses aren't just private. They're managed. The public surface is smooth and featureless and tells me nothing except that someone is working very hard to make sure it tells me nothing.
I try different searches. Business filings. Property records. The Ambrose Foundation—legitimate, registered, board of directors that includes names I don't recognize. GabrielAmbrose appears more frequently—real estate transactions, a few charity galas, the public face of the family's wealth.