Page 40 of Never Kiss a Highlander

“Nay,” he said quickly and forcefully. “My brothers have the control. ‘Tis their feelings toward their wives that make them no’ want another woman.”

His words warmed her inside, but she had to probe further. “What if ye change yer mind?”

“Like the mon ye were counting on marrying, who wed someone else?”

For the longest time just thinking about that had caused her pain and heartache. Now she felt nothing. She turned again to Finn. In a flash she realized he would ne’er do that.

Her husband was an honorable man, and would not break her heart. Trust? Did she actually trust him?

She smiled.

“What’s putting that lovely smile on yer face, lass?”

She shook her head. “No’hing.” She narrowed her eyes and waved her finger at him. “Doona think I’ll e’er love ye, ye ken.”

The big, arrogant oaf actually laughed. “Doona fash yerself, wife. ‘Tis no’ love I’m looking for. I only want ye to obey what I say and doona put yerself in danger, and ne’er deny me your bed.”

After a few minutes, she said, “Why do ye feel as though ye need to be in control all the time? Think me that there is a story behind that.”

He closed his eyes as if remembering a painful event.

“‘Tis no’ important.”

She shifted in the bed, resting her head on her upraised hand. “I told ye about my broken heart, why doona ye tell me yer deep, dark secret?”

Finn stared at his wife for a minute. Aside from his brothers who were there at the time, he’d never discussed what happened that eventful night.

He sighed, realizing if they were to have as good a marriage as he’d hoped they would, she was right that he should share his heartache with her.

“Years ago, when I was an arrogant youth,” he continued after she snorted. “I was in the ale house with my brothers and a verra close friend. Mitchell and I fostered together. He was almost like another brother to me.”

He stopped, not sure he could continue, but knowing finally sharing this with another person, particularly one he intended to spend the rest of his life with, would most likely cleanse his soul.

She touched his cheek as if knowing this was very hard for him. “Go on.”

“We got into a scrabble with some warriors from another clan who were passing through. I’m sorry to say I threw the first punch, and we all quickly drew our daggers.

He sighed again. “In my youthful confidence, I didn’t pay as much attention as I should have. One of the other warriors slammed into me and I fell on Mitchell, stabbing him with my dagger.” He stopped, swallowing a few times.

“My best friend died right there. Bled to death in my arms.”

She placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Finn. That must have been horrible for ye.”

He huffed. “No’ as horrible as it was for Mitchell.”

After a few moments of silence, he said, “The reason that entire thing happened was because I lost control.”

“Ye said ye were a youth.”

He shook his head. “That was no’ an excuse. As a trained warrior, I should have had more control. I should have kenned that Mitchell was that close to me.”

“And ye’ve blamed yerself for it all these years.”

“Aye!” His jaw tightened as memories flooded him. “If I had more control and dinna start the ruckus, Mitchell would be alive now.”

“Mayhap. As warriors, ye ne’er ken when yer end is coming. However, it was Mitchell’s choice to join the fray. Also, he could have been more aware of where ye were, too.”

He reached out and touched her soft cheek. “Thank ye for listening and no’ condemning me.”