Page 127 of Just Between Us

“Out through the mouth. Slow.”

On the exhale, my jaw relaxes. I didn’t even realize I was grinding my teeth together.

“Again.”

We stand like this, my palm to his chest, breathing together three more times until slowly, so slowly, the pressure at the base of my skull lessens and my heart rate slows.

“Ready?” he asks, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I nod, and Liam guides me inside, his hand a steady pressure on the small of my back. The moment we step through the door, all eyes turn toward me. I can feel them all recalibrating, lowering their voices, slowing their movements, like someone punched the volume button the second I stepped in the room.My fingers gravitate toward my ear for my hoop earring, but they aren’t there and it takes me a second to remember they were removed for surgery, along with my dermals and nose ring.

Then Penny’s voice cuts through the quiet. “Cassie, would you like to meet your niece?” She gestures to Austin, who I now see is wearing a baby sling. He supports Lizzie’s head with one hand, unclips the sling with the other, and lifts her out like it’s nothing. Three weeks of practice has turned my brother into a baby-wearing pro.

Lizzie scrunches her little face, drawing her legs up and letting out the tiniest squeak I’ve ever heard, before falling right back asleep in Austin’s hands.

Liam sits and pats the spot for me. Easing down next to him, his arm settles across the back of my chair, a reminder that he’s here if I need him. Nodding at my brother, I makegimmegestures with my hands.

Austin places her in my arms and I realize just how tiny she still is. So fragile, this little life I’m holding is. An ache blooms in my chest, nose burning, at the thought that I could have missed this. This warm little weight in my arms. Liam at my side. My family surrounding me. I could have missed all of it.

“Hi, Lizzie,” I whisper, tracing a finger along the tiniest hand I’ve ever seen. “I’m your aunt Cassie. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.” Her fingers curl around mine on instinct and I’m done for. Completely and utterly done for. I trace a pinky across her tiny rosebud lips and she squirms on my lap. “I see you have your mama’s hair,” I ghost my fingertips across the auburn-colored fuzz on her head and her little lips pull up in the cutest smile I’ve ever seen.

She squirms again and lets out a series of toots so loud for someone so small.

“I see you got that from your daddy.”

Austin drops his chin to his chest. “Guilty.”

Josie snorts, breaking the tension in the room and like a chainreaction, everyone is laughing. Real laughs. Sounds that are hard earned. Sounds that heal.

I try to focus on every conversation I have over the next hour. Truly, I do. But with my niece asleep on my lap and my focus slipping, I’m left drained. It pains me to hand Lizzie back to Austin, but I can’t risk dropping her with the fog of fatigue settling in.

“All right.” Liam looks at the time on his phone. “Everybody out. Time’s up.”

Goodbyes come with hugs and vows that I’ll call if I need them. Austin, with Lizzie strapped to his chest again, presses a kiss to the top of my head.

“Love you, baby sis.” His words are thick with emotion he’s obviously fighting. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“Love you too, Aussie.”

Mom is the last to leave. She pauses at the door and turns back to me. “Call me if you need anything. No matter the time.”

I’m the first to move, wrapping her in an embrace that sends a dull ache radiating across my chest, and I don’t care. I hold on tighter. Six months ago I didn’t have a mom to hug and a little pain is a small price for this.

Liam and I stand in the doorway watching her leave and we don’t close the door until her car is out of sight. The door clicks shut and the house goes still. Mutt trots over and rubs his snout against my shins. He probably wants me to pick him up, but I don’t have the energy to even attempt bending down.

“Bed,” I breathe out. It’s the middle of the day, but I don’t care. The nurses told me to get plenty of rest and that’s what I plan on doing.

Liam looks just as exhausted as I feel. Three weeks ofsleeping at a hospital is hardly sleeping at all, and now that everyone is gone and he doesn’t have to hold it together for an audience, I can see he’s running on fumes.

Mutt leads the way, claiming his spot at the foot of the bed. He’s probably happy to be home, too. I’m sure he’s spent this time at Greg and Lisa’s. Liam pulls back the comforter and I crawl in, still in his button-down, still in everything but my shoes. The sheets smell like cedar and citrus andhim,and I almost cry from how good it feels to be somewhere that isn’t a hospital bed.

Liam climbs in next to me, and I can tell by his slow movements he’s trying not to jostle me. As soon as he’s settled his hand finds mine under the sheet and my eyes drift shut. I’m almost asleep when I hear Liam’s low voice behind me.

“Welcome home, angel. Sweet dreams.”

Six WeeksLater

I wake to the feel of fingertips walking a path up my chest.