Page 65 of Riding High

‘I’ve spent my whole life wondering if I was even worth being part of this family.I didn’t want you to look at me differently.I didn’t want you to see me as… as some kind of mistake.’

Troyden, who had been unusually quiet up until now, finally spoke, his voice soft but firm.‘Jed, you’re not a mistake.Never that.’

Jed looked at him, his throat tightening.He could feel the emotions bubbling up inside him, raw and unfiltered.God, this was hard.And awful.‘You’ve always treated me like one of your own, but it never felt real.Not all the way.Ifelt– feel– like I constantly had to bring something to the party to belong to this family.Even as a little kid, I needed to be needed.Sometimes I still feel like that.’

‘We do need you, Jed!You’re our brother.End of!’Mick yelled, properly upset.

‘Of course, we need you.You’re the family rock.’Al added.‘But did you really think we wouldn’t accept you because the Duke didn’t?That we’d see you as something less?’

He couldn’t talk anymore, explain.He was done.He’d said more than he’d expected to, more than he’d wanted to.It was too much.

Mick softened slightly, uncrossing her arms.‘Jed, family, especially this family, isn’t about titles or bloodlines.It’s about who’s there for you, who’s got your back when it matters.You’ve always had our back.But I think you’ve forgotten, or never knew, that it’s a two-way street.You need us to need you, but we needyouto needustoo.’

Al leaned forward, his voice gentle, but his eyes still sharp.‘And let me be very clear, Jed, I don’t give a flying fuck who your real father is or isn’t.You’re my brother, a part of this family.Always have been.Always will be.’

Jed felt a lump form in his throat as he took a shaky breath.‘Okay.’

Troyden stood up, moved toward Jed, and placed a hand on his shoulder.‘Our love isn’t conditional, Jedson.It never has been.’

Jed nodded, patted his hand and pushed back his chair.He needed to leave.His emotions were too big, the relief too great.He couldn’t fall apart.He was the protector, the strong one, the one who stood between them and the world.He couldn’t break down.He couldn’t let them see him crumble.Habits, after all, couldn’t be broken by one conversation.‘I need to get going.I?—’

Mick stood up, leaned across the table and punched his arm.Because he’d taught her how to punch, it held a reasonable force.‘You’re a moron.And for what it’s worth, a huge pain in the arse.You always have been, so nothing’s changed.’

Jed let out a low chuckle, his shoulders dropping fractionally.

Alistair stood up and Jed moved back, in case he punched him too.His brother was a lot bigger than him and might put him on his arse.‘For once, I agree with Mick.You are a moron.But you’re our moron.’

‘Yeah, got it,’ Jed said.Look, it would take time until he felt like he was,intrinsically,a part of the Castle clan.But a weight had been lifted, some of his decades-old fears calmed.

It had only taken twenty-five years.But better than never, he supposed.Now he just needed to decide what to do about Henry.

* * *

Eden knew enough about Jed to know that he needed time to himself, but not too much time, because then he would start overthinking and brooding.There were only two places he’d go when he was upset, his workshop or the stables.His workshop was on the way to the stables, so she poked her head inside the long building– images of how well he’d loved her earlier on that bench flashing behind her eyes and heating her core– but the place was empty, the machines asleep.

So that meant the stables.Eden hesitated and wondered whether she’d have an allergic reaction.She pushed back her shoulders and forced steel into her spine.Well, she was about to find out because there was no way she was going to leave Jed to deal with his thoughts and emotions by himself.She’d seen the pain in his eyes earlier and heard the fear in his voice.Nobody, not even stoic Jed, should be alone after dropping a conversational hand grenade.

And if that meant her morphing into a hive-covered beast, then so be it.She wouldn’t die.

She slipped through the huge stable doors, easy to open despite their size, and walked into the cool interior, trying to take shallow breaths.There wasn’t any reason to inhale more dander than she needed to.She loved the stillness of the mostly empty stables, the soft sounds of a sick or pregnant horse shuffling, the occasional nicker, and the smell of hay and horseflesh.With its high, wooden-arched ceiling it looked a little like a cathedral, and it held the same peace.She understood why this was where Jed needed to be.There was peace here.

She was barely three steps into the stable when a muscled arm encircled her waist and lifted her off her feet, her back to his chest.She squealed and held on to Jed’s arm as he walked her out of the stables and back into the bright sunshine.‘Are you mad?’he roared.‘What the hell do you think you are doing?’

Her feet hit the ground, and she gripped his arm to keep her balance.‘Uh?—’

‘You have a severe allergy to horses, you idiot!’Jedyelled, his eyes sparking.‘The last time you were in a stable you fainted and scared the shit out of me.’

She could feel a sneeze coming on and prayed it would go away.She held her breath, not wanting to give his words credence.But because her body was a bitch, the sneeze hit the back of her throat, and she cupped her hands around her nose and released the inevitable.

Three sneezes later, she lifted her head to look at a scowling Jed.‘Happy, now?’he asked, his mouth thin with displeasure.Before she could answer, he lifted her arms and gently twisted them, checking for any incoming welts.‘Tight throat?Difficulty breathing?’

‘No, I’m fine.’She hadn’t, thank goodness, had a hive since that first time.He dropped to his haunches, balancing on his toes to inspect her legs.Thank God, she’d shaved them this morning.

‘Nothing on your legs yet.’He stood up and gripped her shoulders in a tight grip.He was a strong guy, but conscious of his strength.He shook her, just a little.‘What the hell were you thinking, Eden?’

She held his wrists and looked up into his angry-at-her and angry-for-her face.‘I was thinking that you just dropped a bombshell.And that you might be having trouble processing it.’

He dropped his head, and his grip loosened.‘I’m okay,’ he gruffly stated.When he looked back at her, his eyes were blazing with intensity and a healthy dose of irritation.‘Nothing is so important…nobodyis so important, that you need to go into a stable, Eden.’