Page 91 of Fall For Me
Twenty-Seven
Hannah
Viviana could’ve been anybody. There are tons of women just like her—gorgeous, Spanish speaking bombshells—and it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for one of them to pop up on Sean’s doorstep one day just like she did. I hate that I felt inadequate standing next to her.
“Hi, this is Sean Mac . . . yes,theSean Mackenzie . . .” With the phone sandwiched between his ear and his shoulder, he leans over and secures me in like always, then shifts the truck into reverse and pulls out of the driveway. “I was wondering if you could clear the space for the night . . . whatever it takes, just name the price and I’ll take care of it.”
“I swear. What is it with you athletes?” I roll my eyes. “You just snap your fingers, and poof, you can have whatever you want.”
“The perks of being famous, baby,” he says, covering the receiver and tossing me a wink before returning to his conversation.
I just don’t get the hype. Maybe it’s because I grew up around famous athletes, but to me, they’re normal people just like anybody else.
“Do you want suite tickets, or would you rather sit behind the player’s box? Got it. Yep. We’ll be there in about thirty minutes. This stays between us, yeah? I don’t want the paparazzi sniffing around.”
I don’t blame him. I’m nothing to be proud of. I don’t even have to look at the tabloids to know what they’re saying about the kind of couple we make. Staring out the window, I watch the streetlamps blur as we drive to wherever he’s taking me.
I’ll never measure up to any other woman. Am I even a woman anymore? The only part I have left is a fucking vagina. No tits, no hormones, no way to carry a child.
If we stay together, then I’m stealing away the opportunity for Sean to become a father. The look on his face when he picked up Jade and held her in his arms haunts me.
“We’re here.” He shifts the truck into park.
Unclipping my seat belt, I hop out and stare up at the tower. I’ve heard of The Edge before. Seen pictures of the glass triangle on the floor where you stand and look at the tall buildings hundreds of feet below you, but I’ve never been here. Sean grabs my hand and leads us inside to the elevators, then presses the button for the 100thfloor.
“You’re eerily quiet tonight,” he says, stepping out of the elevator.
I don’t know how to respond, so I just shrug a shoulder and wrap my jacket a little tighter around me as we make our way out into the crisp, October night air and onto the observation deck.
Through the glass below my feet, the cars on the street look like little figurines. My stomach plummets. It’s not the rush I needed, but it’s as close as I’m gonna get until I’m cleared by my doctors.
Sean takes my hand in his, kissing my knuckles.
“Why does it feel like I’m losing you, baby? If this is about the conversation with my sister, I’m sorry. I?—”
“Can you really, honestly stand here and tell me you see a future with me?” I interrupt, because I can’t hold onto my emotions anymore.
I don’t give him time to respond before pulling away from him with a shaky sigh. My hand slips from his, and the glass disappears from below my feet as I move to the corner of the observation deck,each step splintering that fragile organ inside my chest. New York stretches endlessly in every direction. Millions of lights, millions of people, millions of reasons Sean shouldn’t be with me. I wrap my arms around myself and stare out at the skyline. The confusion etched all over his face stares back at me through the reflection in the glass.
“Before I found out Viviana was your sister, I thought she was someone you had been with. I can’t describe what it felt like, hearing you two speak Spanish while I stood there like a dumbass unable to understand a fucking word. The way she tossed her head back and laughed at what you said. And like, I know she’s your sisternow, but I didn’t then, and this ugly feeling about myself crawled inside of me . . .”
“I heard what she said to you, how she spoke to you, and I told her I was going to end her life as soon as I got there. That’s why she laughed.”
“I get that, Sean. I really do, but standing next to her . . .” I shake my head, trying to clear the sting.
“I could kill my sister for the shit she pulled today. I have to keep reminding myself that she doesn’t know about the procedures you’ve had or the insecurities you’re struggling with because of them. Not that it’s an excuse for her behavior. Still, I’m trying to give her a little grace, but seeing you broken like this makes me want to storm down to her hotel and choke the fuck out of her.”
I spin to face him. “Sean!”
“I said I feel murderous, not that I am.”
“It’s not her fault. You deserve better. More. Someone who mirrors you in every way and can give you everything you want.”
His rough fingertips press under my chin, tilting my head up as he holds my eyes captive. “I loveyou. I only wantyou.”
“You’ll never have children with me, and you said you wanted a lot of them.”
“I only wantyou,” he repeats, reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t want children if it’s not with you.”
