Page 49 of Fall For Me
Up next will be the river card. Seethatcard is the one to screw you over. You think you have a solid hand, but someone slides into the game with two cards they should’ve folded to begin with. Then they river you out of a winning hand. Not this time.
My guess is that Sean’s sitting there with a ten in his hand. He probably has a Jack or Queen to go with it. Aspen deals out the river card, and it’s a Jack. If I’m right, Sean thinks he’s won with at the very least trip tens, and at best a full house: tens over Jacks, when I’m sitting on a full house: aces over tens. He checks. I bet. He raises. We stare at each other.
“If I were you, I’d fold.”
“Good thing you’re not me. Raise. What do you call it? All in. Yeah, I’m all in.”
Sean laughs. He freaking laughs. Oh, yeah. He thinks he has this in the bag.
“However much that is . . . I’m gonna call you,” he says.
“Let’s just settle on a thousand.”
“Fine,” he agrees as my dad sits back laughing behind his hand.
I flip my cards. “This is good right?”
He looks at my cards, then at me, the cards on the board, my cards again, then back at me, and shock settles over his face. “You played me. You fucking hustled all of us. Coach?”
Dad laughs and lifts up his hands in mock surrender. “Never underestimate a woman who was homeschooled as a little girl and had nothing better to do on the road than play cards with her old man and his teammates.”
Everyone burst out laughing as Carter barrels through the double doors, looking worn the hell out as if he just gave birth himself. We all stand and wait with bated breath as his face crumples.
“I’m a dad. I . . .” He rubs his chest as if it aches. “We have a boy . . . and a girl. Ash and Ember.”
Cal is the first one to wrap him in a hug, then each of us takes a turn to hug and congratulate him.
“How are the babies?” I ask.
“Ember is in NICU, receiving oxygen and being monitored. She experienced some distress during labor, but she’s doing good. Ash is doing really well. He has a healthy set of lungs. Both of them are so fucking perfect,” he cries, and I feel myself tearing up with happy tears along with him. “River did amazing, she just got out of recovery and is doing skin-to-skin with Ash. Give us a little bit and we’ll come get you.”
“Carter, you’re both exhausted. I’ll come back tomorrow to visit . . . well, later on today. You know what I mean,” I say, giving him another hug.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m sure. These first few hours are important for you all to bond. I’ll bring you guys lunch . . .” I say, releasing him. “Give the babies and River my love.”
“She’s right. I think we’ll all give you this time together and come back later,” Katherine agrees.
Sean and I say our goodbyes and head out to his truck. After starting the engine, he turns to me. “Are you okay?”
“You want the truth? Because it feels ugly.”
“Always,” he says, grabbing my hand, and giving me his full attention.
“What I said is true; they do need time as a family before we all come in and start holding the babies, but if I’m completely honest, another part of me—a very selfish part—doesn’t know if I can handle holding the twins right now.”
“Feeling that way isn’t ugly. This is a trigger for you; there’s a difference.”
His eyes lock with mine, and it’s not pity I see there; it’s a hint of understanding. How can he possibly understand what I’m going through?
As if reading my thoughts, he says, “I’m not comparing our trauma, but there was a time when I thought I was going to be a father, and that was ripped away from me. I know what it’s like to watch your family and friends experience the joy of something that’s been stolen from you. It doesn’t mean you’re any less happy for them; it just hurts. What you’re feeling doesn’t make you selfish or anything; it makes you human.”
“The thought of you experiencing this feeling makes me sick,” I tell him.
“I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” His eyes pierce mine, and my heart beats a little faster. “I just want you to know that your feelings are valid, Hannah.”
“Thank you.”
