Page 25 of Fall For Me
“You knew her?” I ask before it dawns on me.
“Savannah,” we both say at the same time.
“Yep, I met her a couple of times. Savannah saw that shit from a mile away. Actually, come to think of it, Allie’s the reason Savannah and Owen broke up. They had a huge fight over her not long after you and I met. I can’t believe they betrayed you like that . . .” She pauses, her brows puckering together in question. “Wait. Is that why you backed off from me? Because of my friendship with Aiden?”
“I know you’re nothing like Allie, but if I’m being one hundred percent honest, yes, your friendship bothers me. It’s one of the things I’ve been working through.”
She looks down at her hands as she fidgets with her cuticles.
“Aiden is like my brother. I know everyone looks at us and thinks we’d make a good match, but we don’t see each other that way. Neverhave.” She glances up, her eyes locking with mine. “And that won’t change.”
Averting my gaze, I begin tending to the scrapes and cuts on her arm. “Aiden and I have hashed that out.”
“What? He knew all of this and didn’t tell me?”
“Don’t worry, he doesn’t tell me shit about you either. Maybe he’s a better friend than I’ve given him credit for.”
“Aiden’s a man-whore, but he would never betray his friends, and I’m not a cheater, Sean.”
“I know.” I say even though her and Aiden’s friendship is still a major insecurity for me. “That’s not a you thing, okay? It’s a me thing. I’m scared of that happening to me again. When Allie cheated on me, I was embarrassed. You know? I felt emasculated, like I was lacking in some way. My self-esteem took a major hit. Which is why, after my divorce, I spent my free time fucking my way through a laundry list of women.”
“You created quite the reputation for yourself,” she agrees.
I glance up and my eyes lock with hers. “I did. I became the biggest piece-of-shit-asshole to grace the NHL. I didn’t care . . . until you.”
Something was different about her. She intrigued me. Kept me on my toes. And as we kept seeing each other, the thought of other women became hollow and monotonous.
“After you left me in the parking lot, I started working on myself. I knew whatever was going on between us wouldn’t work until I straightened up. I’m trying here. I really am.”
She doesn’t say anything in response as I cap the tube of ointment.
“All right. You’re good as new,” I tell her, placing my hands on either side of her thighs. “I don’t know how to do this, Hannah. I don’t know all the right words to say or what to do to get you back. I’m not about the sappy, sentimental shit. You know that’s not me. What I will say is that my insecurities took over, and I let them; I screwed everything up. I’m just hoping you’ll give me another chance.”
“Like you pointed out, I don’t trust you.”
“Then I’ll earn your trust.”
“Don’t!” She sweeps a hand down her torso. “Look at me. Just look! Is this what you want? A woman with no fucking tits?”
“I don’t see the problem here. I’ve always been an ass man,” I counter, shrugging my shoulders.
A laugh spills from her lips. She knows it’s true, I never could keep my hands off her ass.
“Your body is incredible exactly as it is, Hannah, but your mind is what ensnared me.”
Her laugh dissipates as her eyes find mine again. “I could die of cancer.”
“We all have to die of something sometime,” I counter, feeling a pang in my chest. I anticipate the next argument to slip off her tongue, but her top teeth clamp down on her bottom lip in hesitation. “There’s not a single fucking thing you can say to detour me. I don’t want anyone or anything other than you. Not a damn thing.”
She begins to open her mouth, and I cut her off, knowing she’s going to shoot me down again.
“How about this? You don’t have to make a decision yet. Just let me keep doing what I’m doing right now.”
“And what’s that?”
“Proving it.”
She holds my gaze for a few minutes, her silence deafening, and the air charged with static, but then she gives one stiff reluctant nod, and I release the breath I’ve been holding for so long that my lungs feel like a flame has torched them.
