Page 63 of Mary, Quite Contrary

"Drop it," the Viscount threatened, raising his cane. "Drop the bird, or I shall turn you into a muff."

Charles-the-cat made a calculation. The bird tasted of dust and feathers. The beef smelled of rich salt and smoke.

He opened his mouth.

Sir Polonius was dropped onto the piano keys with a discordantplink. The cat snatched the meat and vanished under the instrument to consume his ill-gotten gains.

Tepper scooped up the parrot. The bird was ruffled, wet, and missing several tail feathers, looking like a drunkard after a tavern brawl.

"You are safe, Sir Polonius," Tepper murmured, smoothing a wing.

The parrot fixed Tepper with a hate-filled black eye. It shook its head, sending a spray of cat saliva onto the valet's pristine waistcoat.

"Imbecile," Sir Polonius croaked distinctly. "Peasant."

Robert collapsed onto a nearby chair, fanning his face with his hand. "Thank God. Jane would have murdered me. She is fond of the wretched creature. Mostly." He pointed a trembling finger at the cat. "That animal is barred from my estates. He is a Jacobin."

"He is a mouser." Mary wiped a green feather from her sleeve. She adjusted her spectacles, her face flushed, her lips fighting a smile. "He merely mistook Sir Polonius for a very large, very loud mouse."

"He mistook him for luncheon!" Robert retorted. He paused, finally registering the scene. The rumpled rug. The dishevelled couple. The red lips.

His eyes narrowed. A slow, wolfish grin spread across his face.

"Well, well, well," he drawled, tapping his cane on the floor. "I see we interrupted a happy alliance. Or was it a seizure of hearts?"

Charles stood up. He pulled Mary to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist. He did not stammer. He did not blush. He stood amidst the feathers, the cat, and the pandemonium, and he beamed. "It was a partnership sealed!" he declared. "We shall wed as soon as the banns are read."

"Excellent," Robert slapped his knee. "But not before you pay for the parrot's recuperation. Tepper, take the bird away. Colonel, find us some brandy. We have a wedding to plan, and I intend to be drunk for the duration."

"Squawk!" Sir Polonius agreed as Tepper marched him out. "Dividend! Dividend!"

Mary laughed. The sound rose above the madness, bright and clear. Charles pulled her close, kissing her temple, while the cat chewed loudly on the floor and the Viscount planned the toasts.

The storm had passed.