Page 54 of Colin (The Doherty Mafia)
I rubbed a hand over my face, trying not to recall the police report I read on Tina.
“I had nothing to do with her death. I was in love with that girl. She was the first person I opened myself to after what happened to my mother.”
Marley sniffed deeply. She wasn’t crying anymore. I hated to see her cry.
“I believe you, Colin. You don’t have to try and convince me anymore. I knew Aldo was lying to try and get me to work with him. He knew I was on the fence about helping him. He tried to turn me against you.”
“And instead of asking me about the truth, you decided to leave.”
“Would you have told me if I asked? You weren’t willing to tell me anything about your life.”
I looked at her in disbelief. It was still so hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea that she was a police detective. That she had been duping me this whole time.
How quickly had she realized who I was?
I was the one who pursued her at the bar, right? Or was I just imagining that? It was all a drunken haze and I couldn’t remember.
“I know it is me who you shouldn’t be able to trust, because I have been lying to you,” Marley said, interrupting my thoughts.
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking too.
“Which is why I didn’t see the point in staying here. Our relationship, whatever it was, was built on lies and deceit. You were hiding your life from me, I was hiding my identity from you. We were doomed from the start.”
She looked sad as she spoke, and I felt it in my ribs too. A physical pain like being punched. But I knew she was right.
We were doomed.
“I don’t think I can be with anyone, not after what happened to my mom and Tina. I can’t involve another woman in my life and set her up for a similar fate,” I said.
Marley nodded.
“Yeah, I don’t think I can be with anyone either.”
“Is this because of your parents?” I asked.
Maybe I should have let it go instead of demanding an explanation. Marley didn’t owe me an explanation. Wasn’t this what I wanted—for us to part ways amicably?
She looked out of the window into the dark distance and sighed.
“Yeah, I guess so. I don’t know. I’ve just never…had a good impression of men.”
“Because your parents fought a lot,” I said. I knew what she was talking about. She had given me a pretty good idea of it already.
“He used to hit her,” Marley confessed. She wasn’t looking at me but I could see the reflection of her face in the glass window. I watched as she pressed her eyes close like she was trying to shut the world out of her view. “He didn’t think I knew. He still played the good dad part when I was around. But I knew what was going on. It was why she resented him so much.”
I wanted to hold her. I wanted her to know how angry that made me.
Hurting women and children went against every moral code I believed in.
“So your father was a pussy,” I growled.
Marley turned to me. Her eyes were red. I wanted to pull her into my arms but I didn’t know if she wanted that too.
“I just don’t understand why my mom stayed with him as long as she did. Maybe she thought she had to. Maybe she was doing it for me. I don’t know. All I know is I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t put myself in that position again.”
“You think every man is like your father?”
Marley blinked rapidly.
“Every man I work with is definitely like my father. The only thing they believe I’m good for is a piece of meat. To bring them their coffee. They don’t see me as a fellow detective. They don’t think I can contribute.”
“So you tried to build this case against me to prove to them you are worth more than that.”
I could see she was struggling to hold back her tears. This wasn’t what I wanted—I didn’t want to make her feel like shit. I just wanted her to know that I understood.
“I know how stupid that sounds,” she said.
“It’s stupid because you shouldn’t have to try that hard, you shouldn’t have to try at all. Anybody who bothers to get to know you will know what you’re worth,” I said.
I surprised myself by even managing to express myself that way. It was how I felt, it was the truth.
Marley hung her head, sniffing hard to pull back the tears.
“I’ve made a complete fool of myself and got into trouble in the process. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You thought you were doing your job.”
“I don’t want to do it anymore,” she said.
