Page 51 of Aidan (The Doherty Mafia)
My other choice was to tell him the truth about the baby. There was no predicting what his reaction to that would be. However, the one thing I did know was that it wouldn't be a good one.
There was no way he’d forgive me what I’d done.
Either way, our relationship was doomed. What made me think for even a second that there was a chance for us to be together as a normal couple? How could we survive despite our past? Despite our son being out there being raised by someone else?
That was a guilt and a choice which I had to live with every day. I would never survive a relationship with him based on a lie.
“So, Leah, are you going to tell me?” he asked.
He knew I thought it over. He knew the same thing I did—everything depended on whether I chose to tell him or not. There wasn’t any denying there was a secret between us.
“I need a drink first,” I said, walking to the kitchen. He didn’t follow me. He gave me a moment to myself.
I poured a shot of tequila and drank it quickly, allowing the warmth to spread through my whole body. Then I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and went back out to the living room.
He waited for me by the window. There was a darkness on his face. He knew this would be big.
I already knew there was going to be no forgiveness after this.
Aidan had already forgiven me for everything worth forgiving.
I kept my head down. I couldn’t bear to look at him while I spoke. I didn’t want to witness the curiosity in his eyes turn to disgust and then hatred.
“The real reason why I left town was because I found out I was pregnant.”
The silence in the apartment was deafening. I couldn’t even hear a clock ticking anywhere. I wished he would just hold me while I spoke, without looking at me.
It was strange because he was my only source of comfort—at the same time, he was the only person who could completely shatter me too.
“What did you just say?” he snarled.
I had to look at him now, I couldn’t shut him out anymore.
“I found out I was pregnant,” I repeated.
Aidan took one threatening step in my direction and my heart felt like it was about to explode.
“Who the fuck touched you? Who was the father?” he growled like a wild animal waiting to pounce on its prey.
I realized then that he mistaked the whole thing. He couldn’t wrap his brain around the idea that I would leave town while carrying his baby. It had to be someone else’s.
“Nobody else touched me, Aidan. You were the father.”
His eyes narrowed and I noticed they were bloodshot.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. You were pregnant and I was the father? Then you left town? Why the fuck would you do that when we were in a relationship? What did you think I would do?”
There was so much to unpack between us that we hadn’t even gotten to the real secret. The one that would blow this up.
I wrapped my arms around my stomach because every part of my body ached now.
“I told my mother. I was going to tell you, but I told her first. I thought she would be…forgiving once she realized there was a baby on the way. I knew she had always wanted to be a grandmother. I thought this would be happy news.”
My lips trembled as I spoke. Aidan glared at me with fury dripping from his eyes. He had a hard time keeping up with the logic of this story.
He held his hands up, making me stop my speech.
“You chose to disclose your pregnancy to your parents before telling me?”
I couldn’t even make myself nod my head.
“Somehow, despite knowing your folks all your life, you thought they would forgive you for getting knocked up before marriage? By a Doherty no less!”
I knew he made complete sense. I’d asked myself this very question over and over again in the past five years. What made me tell Mom? How could I have been so stupid?
Tears filled my eyes and I tried to keep myself from shaking.
“A girl needs her mother to see her through her pregnancy. Or that was what I thought. I was excited and scared. I just wanted my mother on my side,” I replied.
Aidan covered his face with both hands and kept them there. Almost like he couldn’t bring himself to look at me anymore.
“And let me guess, she told your father and together, they plotted against you and I.”
Tears rolled down my face, and this time—Aidan had no sympathy for me. I wasn’t looking for sympathy. I didn’t know what I was looking for. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to find it.
