Page 11 of Aidan (The Doherty Mafia)
I wanted him, the way I always wanted him. Nothing had changed.
I felt a connection with him the moment we met. He was strong and safe. Sexy and handsome. He could have any girl he wanted, but he had chosen me. I still couldn’t understand why.
I had never belonged in his world and I still didn’t. The irony was that now I found myself tangled up right in the center of it.
He scanned me up and down as I walked up to him.
I was wearing a short dress and his eyes were on my legs, then on my hips, then my breasts. I glowed under his gaze.
He was the only man I appreciated this gaze from. The way he undressed me with his eyes turned me on.
I couldn’t believe I still loved that. I still wanted him to look at me like that. I had goosebumps on my skin.
“I ordered you a beer,” he said, tipping his head towards the bottle on the table. He already had one in his hand.
I picked mine up and drank. I really needed it.
“I was glad to hear from you again. I hoped we could talk.”
“I’m confused about what you want to talk to me about. All these years later. You didn’t bother to call me when you disappeared. Where did you go?”
I sat in the chair across from him.
The music was as loud as usual. The bar was crowded with people who were drinking and smoking heavily. I was comforted by the familiar atmosphere.
“To the other side of the country,” I lied.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I was just a two hour train ride from here.
“And are you going to tell me why you left? Without the bullshit this time?” he asked.
I looked him in the eyes. I wanted him to think I was being truthful in what I said.
“My parents made me go. They threatened to cut me off from their lives if I didn’t. They threatened eternal damnation. I had to leave. I had no choice. I didn’t want to tell you anything because I thought it would be easier that way. Rip it off like a Band-Aid.”
Well…it was partially true. My parents did threaten me with all that.
However, I had left out the part where they also threatened to force me to have an abortion if I stayed in town and kept seeing Aidan.
I knew that the only chance for my baby to survive was if I left. At least that way, I could give it up for adoption and know it was being looked after by a loving home.
Aidan lifted his bottle to his lips and took a deep gulp of his beer. I couldn’t tell if he believed me this time. He watched me closely—like he waited for me to slip up.
“Your parents threatened you with eternal damnation and you just did what they said?”
My cheeks flushed with guilt. He would figure out I was lying. My knuckles turned white because of how tightly I gripped the bottle.
“I never realized how naive you were,” he added.
He bought it.
“Yes, I was naive. I see that now,” I admitted.
“You could have stayed if you really wanted to,” he continued. “You could have come to me with their threats.”
“And what would you have done? Got my parents beaten up for what they were doing to me? I didn’t want that.”
“So you’re saying you left because you were trying to protect your family from me? From my brutality?” he asked.
His voice was raised and gruff. I knew I had to hold my own. Aidan had the ability to get under my skin. But I had the ability to win an argument against him. I wasn’t sure if he allowed other women to talk to him like this.
“I did what I thought was the best thing to do to keep the peace. I figured that if I left, my parents would be satisfied and you would be free of me,” I replied.
Aidan smirked and shook his head bitterly.
“No, Leah. What you really wanted was to be free of me.”
I said nothing, just stared at him.
It was hard to argue with that.
By leaving this place—I was trying to be free of everything.
The truth was, I would never be free of him. I would never be free of the baby we made together. I thought about his beautiful face every day.
“You chose your parents’ religious beliefs over me,” he continued.
“I am not them. I left because I knew I could never live in this town with you while they were still around. And I also knew you would never leave. Your family is the most important thing to you. I couldn’t force you away from that. I didn’t want to,” I said.
Aidan was silent for a while after that, and I began to think that maybe he saw it as a favor now. That I had done him a favor by leaving. By making it an easy decision for him to just forget about me and move on.
