Page 32 of A Second Chance Summer in Dublin
‘But you’re my guest,’ I tell him.
‘An unexpected one. And you’ve been working hard. I’d like to make you dinner? I’m a pretty dab hand in the kitchen, I had to learn at a young age.’ He’s striding to the fridge now, yanking it open. His head disappears inside. Then he pulls it back out, holding a single, withered tomato. I can’t help but laugh.
He juggles the tomato and an old lemon. ‘I can use both of these. I’m going to make us something to accompany the beef. That sound okay?’
I like how he fits in my flat. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I am. Now you sit out in the sun, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Is it okay to leave the door on the latch?’
‘Yeah,’ I say.
He checks. ‘Anything you don’t eat?’
‘Nah. I’d be tempted even if it was still mooing.’ I pat my stomach, laughing. ‘Here, let me give you some money.’ I stand up and lift my bag from the back of the chair.
‘Sorry can’t hear you,’ he says as he exits.
Out on my rooftop the evening heat is still strong, and heavily scented with delicious smells of cooking. I pull the deckchair closer to the shadiest part, near the building opposite. I take a sip of the cold beer and I watch Donal cross the street towards the SuperValu. I’m going to ask him to come to Mia’s party with me when he gets back. It’s so strange, part of me feels like I’ve known him forever. I keep my eye on the sliding doors and hedisappears inside. It feels so strange for a man to take care of me. Logan never did. I took care of us. All the time. And don’t get me started on grocery shopping with him, it was torture. He’d read every ingredient on every packet. Counting every calorie. Weighing his pasta. Logan took all the fun out of eating, for him it was functional. He liked to say his body was a temple, and while I used to take it as tongue-in-cheek, as I sit here now I actually think he meant it.
‘What is this?’ I ask myself under my breath, more than a little confused. Donal is bringing out the worst of Logan in my mind. Or maybe he’s just bringing things to light that I’ve ignored?
Impressively swiftly, Donal emerges from SuperValu with a plastic bag in hand. He waits for a gap in the traffic and his long legs stride across the road. I hear the flat door open and shut, Donal’s feet heavy on the rickety stairs.
He shouts out to me from the kitchenette. ‘Right, I’m doing us a chicken Caesar salad with crispy bacon and avocado, and I also bought a nice bottle of white wine? I know you like white wine. Felt like the perfect summer-evening food vibe? If that sounds cool to you?’
I call back from the comfort of my deckchair. ‘Sounds delicious, Donal! Logan never cooked me a meal in five years.’
‘Logan’s a bit of an asshole,’ Donal returns to me without missing a beat.
A silence drops. Then Donal’s head peeps around the rusty door but he sees my face.
‘Oh, you really are still in love with him .?.?. I apologise for that.’ He smacks his own hand slowly as he steps out onto the rooftop. He makes his claw and pulls his hair back, his eyes even greener in the glint of the sunlight. I say nothing, but my silence confirms it. Our eyes lock and he just nods ever so slowly. ‘I should mind my own business. It’s just .?.?. I think you’re great,Grace, and I hope he doesn’t hurt you again, that’s all. I truly hope that things work out for you, if that’s what you really want. Just don’t sell yourself short.’ Donal’s serious expression shifts and a big smile erupts. ‘That’s all I gotta say.’
I hug my knees to my chest. The conversation is not where I want it to be at. I feel disrespectful to him. ‘I don’t know .?.?. I .?.?. look, I think you’re great, too, Donal .?.?. it’s just .?.?. well, I .?.?.’
‘I know.’ He moves to me, bends over me on the deckchair, lowers his finger in front of his forehead and tips it a few times.
‘It’s just when I got home the other night and I was –’ he moves his finger up and down in front of his teeth ‘– brushing my teeth for bed, I saw my forehead was covered in orange chicken-wing sauce .?.?. Well, that’s when I knew I probably didn’t stand a chance for a second date.’ He’s trying to make me laugh, relieve the pressure, still with that gorgeous grin, and it’s all to make me feel better about our situation. Donal’s smile is contagious so my smile erupts, too.
‘Don’t be saucy now, Donal.’ I wag a finger and we both expend the nervous energy in a laugh, and when we stop, we just stare at one another.
‘At least I haven’t said balls yet.’ He moves back to the door.
‘Isn’t it just as well you didn’t go and buy us meatballs in SuperValu, or you’d have had no choice.’ I wriggle up from the deckchair and follow him inside, but I feel all discombobulated.
‘I may just have got away with that. That may have stood up in court in fairness.’ Donal folds his arms, then unfolds them. He suddenly looks a little shy again. I take a step towards him.
‘Would you come to Mia’s party with me next weekend?’ I blurt it out but I’m glad I’ve asked, even though my heart is racing a little and I don’t really know why.
Donal looks at me, his head rests to one side, he straightens up taller.
‘Really?’ A flutter of hope crosses his face.
‘As .?.?. as a friend. I don’t know what’s going to happen with .?.?.’ I trail off and he nods slowly, takes a second, as is his way, I now recognise. He rubs his beard.
‘Of course I will, sure thing. Oh, sorry, maybe not, what day? I have something on the Saturday I can’t get out of,’ he says as he unpacks the shopping, folds the plastic bag neatly.
‘It’s Friday night,’ I say hopefully.
