Page 65 of A Sniper's Devotion
“Hector?”
“Yeah?”
“You know you can talk to me about what happened at work today, right?”
“No.” Hector shook his head as he looked down at Miguel. “You don’t need that ugliness in your head.”
Miguel squeezed him a little tighter. “Hey. If I’m going to be with you, that means I’ll be exposed to your job. The good and bad parts of it. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come home and talk to me. No protecting me, remember?”
Hector finally raised his arms and hugged Miguel back. He sighed and kissed the top of Miguel’s head. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now tell me what happened.”
Miguel laid his head on Hector’s chest and listened as he told the story. He’d been right earlier. Hector had been the one to take that shot. By the end of the tale, they were on the couch and Miguel was on Hector’s lap. Except he was the one giving comfort. He held his boyfriend close, letting him get out everything he needed to say.
“I don’t like taking a life. I only do it when it’s absolutely necessary. If someone has done something monstrous and is an immediate threat to others, I will pull the trigger. But I hate it every time.”
“I know you feel awful. But you helped saved that boy. I’m sure he’s grateful to be alive and reunited with his family. So even though I know you’ll have guilt and remorse, keep the boy in mind. Focus on that as much as you can.”
Hector tucked his face into Miguel’s neck. “I will,” he mumbled against his skin.
They sat there quietly for a few minutes before Miguel spoke again. “Do you think you can eat anything tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, come on then.” Miguel stood and held his hand out. Hector took it, and Miguel pulled him up from the couch, groaning and straining like it was a real struggle. Which wasn’t far off actually, since Hector’s muscular build outweighed his small frame by quite a lot. But his antics made Hector smile and that was all he cared about.
In the kitchen, Miguel set a plate of baked mac ‘n cheese in front of his boyfriend. The top layer of cheese was perfectly browned, the shells soft and thick with cheese sauce. He’d probably taken more care with this dish than any other time he’d ever made it. The look of contentment on Hector’s face when he took his first bite made the effort worth it.
“This is amazing. Thank you so much for making it for me.”
“You’re welcome. I know it’s a small thing, but I just wanted to help.”
His eyes filled with love and gratitude, Hector reached across the table to hold Miguel’s hand. “You did. More than you know.”
***
After an on-the-job shooting, Hector usually did three things: he went to his department mandated counseling session, he got laid—preferably by someone he didn’t know and wouldn’t see again—and he put on an unbothered face for everyone around him until he was out of the mental funk that always followed a shooting. Things were different this time. He still had to go to his counseling sessions. But he didn’t need anonymous sex or the pretense that everything was all right.
From the moment Miguel had walked into his apartment, he’d started to feel at ease. Miguel’s sweet smiles, cuddles, and quiet listening had soothed his soul. And if there was ever a dish that was a hug in food form, it was mac ‘n cheese. Miguel’s dinner had warmed his belly and his heart. He hadn’t wanted to burden Miguel with the ugly side of his job. But Miguel had gently insisted, making Hector realize that, to honor his word about treating Miguel as an equal in their relationship, he would have to open up and share with his partner. And he was so glad he had, because Miguel had helped him recover emotionally in a way he hadn’t expected.
Miguel was wonderful, and Hector was in love, so in love it felt like he was constantly on the verge of bursting out with “I love Miguel Delgado!” to anyone who would listen. Since strangers would look at him like he was crazy and his friends would laugh their heads off, he refrained from shouting his love for his boyfriend in public. But the sentiment was there, giving him peace and happiness he’d never before experienced. More than ever, he felt his trip to the mall had been the exact right thing to do.
Hector was about to get on the computer to look up ideas for his proposal plan when someone knocked at the front door. He went over and looked through the peephole, opening it when he saw his mom. After she’d busted them making out on the couch, she’d stopped using her key to get in unless she verified that neither he nor Miguel were home.
“Hey, Mamá,” he greeted her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
She came in carrying a glass baking dish. Hector sniffed as she went past him into the kitchen. “Mmmm…what’d you bring me this time?” he asked as he followed.
“Chile rellenos. And you’d better enjoy them because this is the last time I’m bringing you food.”
Hector turned away from the drawer where he’d already been getting out a fork. “What? Why?” he asked as he lifted the foil off the dish.
Lupita smacked his hand away. She went over to the cabinet where the dishes were, mumbling under her breath in Spanish about her heathen son.
Hector grinned at her annoyance, watching as she used a spatula to scoop out one of the peppers and put it on a plate.
“Here. Sit down and eat off a plate like I raised you to, not out of the dish like a wild man.”
