Page 76 of How to Ruin a Wedding

“That,” Olive interrupts me, “was so badass!”

21.

Valerie drops me off at Anders’s right as the sun begins to set. I wave, open the door, and head up the stairs.

“Wait,” she calls to me.

I turn and she jogs over, remaining on the bottom step. “What’s up?”

“Two things,” she says, hands on her hips. “First, thanks for defending Olive. And me.”

“Truly, no thanks necessary.”

“I know you mean that, which leads me to my second point,” she says, and I raise my brows when she struggles to speak, switching between hitting her nails together and twisting her hair. “Look, I don’t have a lot of friends. And the ones I do have, well, you can see they’re not the best.”

I purse my lips. “Well, Jennifer seems okay.”

She snorts, then nods. “She can be. Anyway, my point is, you’ve already been a good friend to me, better than what I’m used to. I know you’re Anders’s girlfriend, but I meant it back there. If you want to be a bridesmaid, I’d have you. If you want.”

My smile forms instantly. “If I want?”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine, I want you to be one. Now, will you agree? Asking is so humiliating.”

“I’d love to,” I answer.

She fights it, but a smile plays on her lips. “Great, because I already bought your dress—dress number thirteen.”

“I thought you didn’t like that one.”

“For Cierra,” she says, “but you look beautiful in it. So, it’s yours.”

“Thank you,” I say.

“For what?” Valerie asks back. “You’re the one doing me a favor.”

“For trusting me,” I say.

“Oh, don’t get all sentimental on me.” Valerie steps away. “I’ll text you more details. Just know I’m forcing you into more wedding planning. You can’t take it back.”

“I won’t,” I say, and wave her off.

I keep waving at her until she drives away, then turn to the door. When I reach for the doorknob, I pause, my smile slipping away.

For a moment, no, for hours, I hadn’t thought about ruining Valerie’s marriage. I was totally immersed in dress shopping, in hyping up Valerie, reassuring Olive, and trying not to strangle the girls when I felt they weren’t doing the same.

I’d done such a good job at this, at being good to Valerie in general, that she invited me to be a part of her wedding party. For Valerie, I’ve become someone she values enough to call a friend, to be a part of what she thinks is the biggest moment of her life. But for me, this is all a means to an end.

This is exactly what I’m supposed to do, worm my way into her life. The more involved I am, the easier it will be to wreck from within. This is my job.

But now, it feels like there are shards of rock floating around the pit of my stomach.

This has never happened. No matter how rough it was, getting involved in someone’s relationship, ruining a pairing, I’ve never felt this ... guilt before, clawing into every organ in my body and pulling them down.

My own fault. I’m getting too emotionally attached. I’ve never stuck around to see the wreckage left over. I didn’t care, because it wasn’t my job to care.

But I care now.

That’s the difference between this job and the others. In this one, I’ve fallen for Olive, and Bethany, and Valerie.