Page 61 of Risk It All
“I enjoy it most days, but there are definitely days when it feels like a chore again, especially if I’m just cooking for me. I enjoy cooking for others, as long as they want me doing that.”
Eliza snorted. “Wait, who wouldn’t want you to cook for them? Your food is amazing.” She got comfortable, tucking her legs underneath her. After getting a bite prepared on her fork, she wrapped her lips around it, and a content hum escaped her.
To distract myself, I looked down at my own bowl, moving the food around with my fork. “Uh, I guess it’s not that she didn’t want me cooking for her or didn’t like my food, but my most recent ex didn’t want metalkingabout cooking. Like she was happy to eat the food but didn’t want to hear about the process at all, which I understand how it could get annoying, but it’s my job. Mylife, even. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t entertain my passion for cooking at least a little bit.”
I didn’t need whoever I was with to be as excited about cooking as I was, but I didn’t want to be with someone who’d roll their eyes or never ask about my job or be annoyed at the long hours. Then on the other side, I didn’t want to be with a woman where theonlything we had in common was cooking. I wanted a balance…and I didn’t think that would be so difficult to find.
I looked up at Eliza to find her already looking at me.
“It’s not annoying at all, and youdefinitelyshouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t understand your passion or what makes you happy. You shouldn’t have to hide or ignore something so important to you.”
“Sounds like you might be speaking from experience,” I said.
Eliza paused but ultimately nodded. “When I was with Colin”—she hesitated saying his name, like he was still a tabootopic for us—“it was almost as if the parts he liked about me before we started dating he suddenly found annoying when we got into a relationship. Like how it’s easy for me to talk to people or that I enjoyed bartending. He didn’t want me talking about work, which was strange, because that’s how wemet. And it wasn’t like I was flirting with people when we were dating. I would never do that. But he made me feel…like I was doing something wrong.”
“You know that’s not on you, right? That’s on him and his insecurities.”
“I know, and my friends said the same thing, but?—”
“No buts.”
“Fine,” she grumbled, hiding her smile when she took another bite. “Is it weird for you? Us…doing this?”
Honestly, it was a little weird, but not for the reasons she likely thought. It was weird to me because it felt like we should’ve been doing this all along. It made me think of how if I’d kissed her three years ago, we would’ve had these moments earlier. But I also couldn’t help thinking that it felt right to be having these momentsnow.
I shook my head. “No, it’s not weird for me.”
“Because if you regret anything?—”
I shook my head again. “I don’t regret anything that’s happened between us. Eliza, I came in my fucking pants over how much I want you. It’s not weird for me that you have history with him, and I sure as hell don’t regret anything.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. She set her bowl on the coffee table and angled her body toward me. “Then I think we should do this. We should keep sleeping together as long as you’re in Golden Fallsoruntil you decide you want to date someone while you’re here. Once you move, this is over. Maybe we stay friends or maybe it’s a clean break, but we stop sleeping with each other.”
I set my own bowl on the coffee table and gave her my full attention. “I really don’t think I’ll be dating while in town.”
“You never know, but if that’s the case, then once you leave. That’s still the plan, right?”
It was still the plan. Golden Falls was simply a stop before I figured out my next destination. “That’s still the plan. I’m not sure exactly the timing, but I want to start reaching out to other restaurants. Maybe get something lined up a couple months from now.”
It was early May. If I could get something lined up for July or August, that would give me plenty of time to coordinate the move while also giving Wes notice and helping him hire a new chef if he wanted my help.
“Then I think this could work. You don’t do casual, and that’s all I’ve done lately, and…maybe this could be the best of both worlds.”
“And work won’t be weird?”
She shook her head. “No, work won’t be weird. I don’t think we need to hide it, but we also shouldn’t broadcast it. I think we keep doing what we’ve been doing. No one suspects a thing.”
“Yeah, okay. I think this arrangement makes sense.” I tried not to soundtooeager, but I couldn’t help the way my cock twitched. By the time I’d be getting ready to leave, I was certain Eliza and I would have had enough of each other. Or, at least, she’d have gotten enough of me.
“One more thing.” She paused, twisting one of the rings on her pointer finger. “Before we do this, I want everything out in the open. A fresh start.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, not following.
“You never responded to my text.”
My phone had been sitting on the table, and I instinctively reached for it. When had she texted me? I picked it up, about to check when she added, “Three years ago.”
Oh.
