Page 4 of Risk It All
Jules’s eyes sparkled.
Meanwhile, Gran hummed. “That it does.”
As the conversation shifted to what we had going on in the coming months, my gaze shifted to where I’d connected those two puzzle pieces moments earlier, and I realized that they weren’t a match after all. It only seemed like it at first glance.
Was that what love was, too? Trying and trying to find your person, only to end up with the wrong one?
By the time I left my grandma’s house, I’d sobered up from my two drinks, and reality sunk in as I climbed the stairs to my apartment.
Lily didn’t live across the hall from me anymore. Both herand Jules were entering a different phase of life. Things were changing.
Don’t get me wrong—I was so excited for my friends. I loved hearing about their date nights, how they were going to decorate their new houses, and how they couldn’t wait to get married.
But it left me with a pit in my stomach that I couldn’t shake.
It wasn’t like they were leaving me behind. We saw each other regularly and had our girls’ nights, like tonight. But it had me thinking aboutmyfuture. And I didn’t like that.
I wasn’t a planner. I hadn’t ever stopped to think about if I’d ever get married or settle down or have a house of my own.
But lately, those questions kept creeping into my mind, and I hadn’t gotten any closer to figuring out what I wanted.
I didn’t want to fall in love and lose myself. I also didn’t want to fall in love with someone who’d try to change the things I loved most about myself. Casual was better—no one got hurt that way.
Right before unlocking my door, I glanced over my shoulder. It should’ve been easy to knock on the door and say hi to my new neighbor. If this were anyone else, I would’ve walked up, knocked, and made small talk for a few minutes.
But this was my ex’s older brother. A man who I needed to stay away from—as much as I could, considering we’d be working together. It didn’t matter how well we got along the handful of times I’d seen him in the year Colin and I had dated.
And it wasn’t even worth broaching the subject of how we almost kissed after I broke up with Colin. Or how Leo didn’t respond to my text afterward.
That was all in the past.
Did he remember I was from Golden Falls? Did he know I lived here? That I worked at Lake Ridge?
I shook my head, turning the key and pushing my dooropen. Even if he did, it didn’t matter and didn’t change anything. We’d be coworkers—nothing more.
I desperately needed sleep. Maybe that would quiet the thoughts and questions whirling in my mind.
I didn’t bother turning on the lamp when I got inside my apartment; the moonlight shining in through the crack in the curtains created just enough light for me to get around. I dropped my purse on the side table and slipped off my shoes. As tempting as the couch looked, I knew tomorrow would be better if I slept in bed.
I went to the kitchen to fill a glass of water, and once I finished drinking it, I filled it again. This time, I used it to water the plants on the kitchen counter.
My apartment had turned into a greenhouse with how many plants I’d acquired over the years. They were in every corner of the place, a pop of color among the neutral walls. Not that my apartment needed more color. There was already plenty between the art and photos hanging on the walls, my green couch, terracotta rug, and trinkets I’d collected from friends and family.
Once I got ready for bed and changed into my pajamas, I crawled under the cool, silky sheets and lay down with a content sigh, my legs and arms sprawled to take up as much space as I could.
The best part about being single was having the whole bed to yourself.
2
LEO
I’d planneda lot in my life. What career I wanted. What I was going to do to achieve it. Where I wanted to live. What I wanted my life to look like.
So, it was fucking humbling to turn thirty-three years old and realize majority of my life didn’t look like how I’d expected.
I thought I’d be living in a big city and working as head chef of a fine dining restaurant. I thought I’d be married—or at least engaged. I thought I’d be closer with my brother.
Instead, I’d gotten passed up for a promotion at a fine dining restaurant in Portland, which led me to move to a small town about an hour from where I grew up to start a new job. I was very single. And I wasn’t any closer with Colin. If anything, we were closer to strangers than brothers.
